


A Place in the Galaxy for Us: Star Wars Episode IX

by Erosia Rhodes (erosia27)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Grey Jedi, Kissing, Kylo Ren Redemption, Lightsabers, Loss of Virginity, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, Romance, Sexual Tension, stormtroopers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-15 23:18:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 28,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14151528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erosia27/pseuds/Erosia%20Rhodes
Summary: Kylo Ren is Supreme Leader of the First Order, Rey of Jakku is the Light of the Resistance, and they're both in over their heads. With General Hux plotting a coup and tragedy striking the heart of the Resistance, will these two ever find their place in the galaxy? And if so, will it be together or apart? (Hint: It's together.)This is Star Wars: Episode IX with a Reylo focus. Cue the opening theme music and enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

Before the final bomb blast threw Rey off the building, she wondered if any of this would have happened if Kylo Ren hadn't been there.

Half an hour earlier Rey had felt his presence wink into existence in orbit above the planet. Snoke had died, but the connection between Rey and Kylo Ren he'd claimed to have created hadn't. Rey suspected he'd lied about forming the bond to manipulate Kylo and make him doubt the depth of his connection to Rey. It was a bond she'd kept tightly shut for almost a year now, though sometimes small twinges of feelings seeped through, like the leaks in the Falcon's hydraulic lines that she could never completely patch. She had to keep him blocked because if she didn't Kylo might track her to the Resistance, and she would have betrayed the new friends she'd never realized she'd needed so much.

When she was a desert rat on Jakku, she relied on no one but herself and no one relied on her. Now it felt like half the galaxy was depending on her, or perhaps the myth about her that was spreading faster than starlight. She was Rey of Jakku, the Light of the Resistance, the girl who single-handedly killed Supreme Leader Snoke and all eight of his Praetorian guards. Or was it ten? Why not make it twelve? Kylo Ren's lie had given her a reputation she wasn't sure she could live up to and made her the most wanted enemy of the First Order.

Rey had been helping Leia and Poe rebuild the Resistance and it was going better than any of them would had anticipated when all the members of their tiny group had fit on the Millennium Falcon after the battle of Crait. Between Luke's heroic standoff with the First Order and the word that his legendary final student was fighting with them, recruits had become easier to find. They called her the last Jedi even though Luke had taught her more about why the Jedi should end than about how to become one. No one wanted to hear that though, so she'd stopped protesting at the title even though it left her unsettled. She'd been working her way through the ancient Jedi texts, hoping to refine her skills before anyone figured out she was a fraud, but learning to be a Jedi from a book was like trying to learn to be a pilot from a flight manual.

She didn't need a book to sense Kylo Ren's presence. She felt him appear above the planet of Nochgen just after her small stealth party had snuck into a factory that was vital to the First Order's supply chain. If they were able to destroy the building, it would significantly delay production of new TIE fighters and star destroyers, an edge they desperately needed in this war.

In the past year she'd sometimes sensed hints of his presence, but he'd always been at least a few parsecs away when it happened. Now that he was only a few miles above in orbit around the planet, the doors of their connection blew so wide open that it made her stagger back yet also feel drawn in. His presence felt like a black hole pulling her toward its event horizon. She knew it would crush her, but that didn't stop the force of gravity between them. When she'd shut the door on their Force bond after the battle of Crait, glaring at him coldly, she thought she had a handle on whatever feelings had been between them. Now that he was near and she felt that magnetic pull towards him, she realized she'd been very, very wrong.

Rey and Finn were hunched in an alcove off the main hallway, waiting for a guard change that would give them a chance to enter the main reactor area. Rey grabbed Finn's arm tightly. "Kylo Ren is here," she whispered.

"What? Are you sure?" he whispered back. She saw a brief flash of fear in his eyes caused by the man who had almost killed him and then it was gone. Finn wouldn't run away from a fight, not anymore.

"Yes, I'm sure." She handed Finn the demolition charges she'd been carrying. "Take these. Tell the others I'll draw him away toward the other end of the building. I'll rendezvous at the ship in 25 minutes like we planned. If I'm not there by then, take off without me."

"I'm not leaving you behind, Rey," Finn protested. "I'll come with you."

"No!" Rey insisted. "You have to plant the charges. I'll be all right. I'm the legendary Rey of Jakku, right?" She gave Finn a quick kiss on the temple and dashed off before he could argue with her further.

Rey snuck down the corridor until she found a grate that led to a small access tube meant to be used by maintenance droids. It was a tight fit, but not any tighter than the passages she'd slipped through when scavenging star destroyers. She crawled for several hundred meters and made a few turns, letting the Force guide her way. She could feel Kylo Ren even closer now. She was certain he'd touched down on the planet and he'd be in the building soon if he wasn't already. She could feel him probing the Force looking for her.

The access tube ended at a ladder which she climbed upwards for several stories, eventually leading to a series of metal catwalks that crossed the factory floor. The catwalks were narrow because they were intended for droids, not people. She walked carefully across, trying not to be distracted by the loud clanging of chains that carried items up and down from the factory floor. She glanced down at the hot vats of liquid metal below her before deciding that was a bad idea.

When she looked up he was there.

Kylo Ren was blocking the door at the end of her path which he must have entered from. She'd once thought of him as Ben Solo, but that had been her optimism blinding her. It was her best and worst trait. Kylo Ren was all she could see now. The black clothing and the scar she had given him were signs of the villain he so badly wanted to be, but the hurt look in his eyes revealed he still hadn't become that villain, as much as he'd tried. She could feel the conflict within him, the conflict that was always there, the conflict she sensed would one day finally tear him in half like the lightsaber they had battled over.

Rey wasn't sure what Kylo could read in her own expression, though it was certainly more than she wanted. They stared at each other for what seemed like minutes, though it was probably only a few seconds. What was there left to say to him? She could only think of one thing.

"Get out of my way." She tried to sound firm and detached, but the small tremor in her voice betrayed her true emotions.

Kylo Ren reached for his lightsaber but didn't ignite it. "Make me," he replied. He was angry about so many things, as was his nature, but the look of betrayal on his face made her think he was angry because she had left him.

She was angry too, that he had chosen what was so clearly the wrong path, that he'd ruined the rare and precious connection they'd had to each other. They could have been allies, friends, or even more, but he'd chosen power and control and the dark side instead. Rey grabbed the long handle of the weapon that hung at her side and ignited it. Two thin blue blades erupted from each end of the double-bladed lightsaber she'd constructed out of the two halves of the kyber crystal they'd ripped apart. A bow staff had always been her weapon of choice, and she didn't know how to fuse the crystal back together anyway, so the best solution to the problem had seemed obvious. Kylo Ren's gaze was fixed on her staff and she felt admiration for the weapon radiating from him, though he was trying to hide it. If he was impressed now, just wait until he saw what she could do with it.

Kylo ignited his lightsaber and she could hear the crackling of its blade over the background clanging noise of the factory. He held the lightsaber down by his side, not in his customary stance pointed straight at his enemy. They stood there for a long moment, like neither one of them wanted to be the first to attack, but neither one could back down either. The longer she looked at him the angrier she got. Why didn't he attack her? Why wouldn't he play the part of the monster he claimed to be?

Her frustration finally burst and she charged toward him, twirling her double-bladed lightsaber and striking downward as he brought his blade up to block the blow. They parried back and forth, swinging wildly and forcefully at each other.

"You could have had everything." He growled at her. "You could have ruled the galaxy with me!"

"How's that going?" She replied. He had forced her backwards and if he continued she'd soon be pressed against the wall. "You got everything you wanted and you're angrier than ever. Snoke and Luke are dead, so there's no one left to blame for your misery but yourself."

The verbal parry worked as efficiently as a physical one and seemed to wound him even more. His recoil gave her the half-second necessary to leap for one of the chains hanging from the ceiling and swing to an opposite catwalk. She had turned off the lightsaber as she leapt, but she landed awkwardly and dropped it. She rolled forward into a crouch as the weapon rolled away from her…right towards Kylo Ren who had landed a few meters away. She reached for the lightsaber with the Force and managed to ignite it right before he swung his blade down at her. There had been enough time between when he landed and when she'd lit the lightsaber for him to kill her. Had her comments thrown him off his game or had he hesitated on purpose? She just wanted to leave, not kill him, but fighting seemed to be the only option.

"How is your life going?" He hammered her with two downward blows that she blocked with opposite blades of her staff. "You think the Resistance is your family, but they're not."

A growl erupted from Rey as she swung back at him hard, forcing him against a railing. "You don't know anything about family!" she yelled. She pressed her blade hard against his and leaned into his personal space.

"You fear they'll abandon you if you fail them, that they're just using you for your power."

She felt like the floor had fallen out beneath her, yet she knew she stood steady on the catwalk. Was that true? No, it wasn't. Finn and Leia and Poe and Rose all cared for her has a person and they wouldn't abandon her. But would they have cared as much if she wasn't force sensitive? If she'd joined the Resistance simply as a scavenger from Jakku and not the last best hope for the Jedi, would any of them bothered to be her friend? Finn, would have, she was certain. He had been her friend before either one of them knew she was strong with the Force. But Poe had only noticed her after she'd levitated a pile of boulders to help the Resistance escape. And Rose, as kind and brave as she was, seemed to hold her on a pedestal like she had with Finn at first. As for Leia, she'd only met the general after Rey had witnessed Kylo Ren kill Han Solo, a situation she was in because of her strange Force bond with their son. Otherwise she might not have met someone as high-ranking as Leia at all. Han Solo had told Ben that Snoke was just using him for his power. Was the same true about her own situation but she was too blind to see it?

She didn't think it could be true, but where she once felt certainty she now felt doubt. Was that how Ben had felt growing up? He was the nephew of the galaxy's most powerful Jedi and the son of one of its most notable politicians. Could he tell if people liked him for who he was or if they were just using him for his power, or to get close to his relatives? Uncertainty like that, well, it gave her some understanding as to why he would rifle through people's thoughts, searching for the truth even if it violated the person they belonged to.

She realized they'd been frozen in the same stance for several long seconds, leaning into each other blade against blade. She looked into Kylo Ren's brown eyes and saw a softness there, like he realized what she had been thinking, that he saw that she understood something about him that no one else had. She felt it again, that pull of gravity. She'd thought of him as a black hole from which no light could escape, but now he felt like the moon and she was the tide yearning to reach across the sky to touch him, yet knowing they would forever be apart. His eyes darted down to her lips. Her breathing become more rapid and it wasn't because of the fight.

A sudden large boom knocked them out of their reverie. Rey stumbled backwards and Kylo Ren almost toppled over the railing.

"That's way too soon," she said.

Realization dawned in Kylo's eyes. "You're blowing up the building?!"

"In five minutes, not now!" she yelled back at him. Another loud bang reverberated through the factory and she felt the catwalk tremble beneath them. Without a word they both put away their weapons and ran for the door. Just as Rey reached for the handle, a bang louder than any of the ones before made her ears ring and suddenly she was falling even though one hand remained desperately clasped to the railing. Her end of the catwalk had broken away from the wall and then stopped with a jolt, hanging at a 45-degree angle from the cables suspending it from the ceiling. Now she was dangling above a vat of liquid metal that would kill her just as easily as any explosion.

"Rey!" Kylo yelled in a panicked voice. He had managed to grab a chain dangling from the ceiling while his feet remained braced against the off-kilter floor. He reached out his other hand with a desperate look in his eyes. She hesitated for a moment. Hadn't they just been trying to kill each other?

"Take my hand!" He reached as far as he could towards her. She felt her grip on the railing start to slip. She felt the heat of the liquid metal from below. One of these things was certain to kill her, the other one was not as immediately lethal. Her choice was made for her. She reached her free arm towards him and he pulled her up so rapidly that she crashed against his chest. Now the heat she felt came from his body pressed against her.

"Hold on to me," he said. She wrapped her arms tightly around him and he turned to face away from the door. He tightened his grasp on the chain dangling from the ceiling, ran up the steep angle of the catwalk, and then let them swing backward to the door like a pendulum. They landed in a hallway, tumbling to the ground and disentangling.

There was no time for conversation. They both leapt to their feet and started running down the hallway, using the Force to increase their running speed and to find the fastest way out. Rey flung another door open and they found themselves on the roof of the building. She could hear Kylo panting hard behind her. She turned her head to glance at him and—

—all she saw were stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Relationship fights would be so much more fun if you could have them with lightsabers. I like to imagine a couple crossing blades while shouting things like, "Why won't you put the dirty dishes in the sink!" or "I'll mow the lawn when I feel like it!"
> 
> I like the idea that Kylo's lie about who killed Snoke has backfired by making Rey look even more badass than she already is and has helped the Resistance recruit people.
> 
> I don't think the Resistance is just using Rey for her power. She's certainly more useful to them because of it, but it's not the only reason she's there. Kylo's projecting his own issues onto her because that's what his relationship with Snoke was like.
> 
> That said, it's got to be crazy stressful to go from living alone all your life to suddenly have half the galaxy depending on you. I know our girl Rey will step up to the task, but I think the fear of failure would cause constant anxiety for her, particularly since this is something she fell into accidentally. It wasn't her lifelong dream to fight for the Resistance, though I think it's ultimately something she is well suited for and likes doing.
> 
> If Rey does not have a double-bladed lightsaber in Episode 9, I will be sorely disappointed. They split the kyber crystal in half! The result seems obvious!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren faces a difficult decision, Hux is up to no good, and Rey confronts some tough truths.

Kylo Ren woke up first. The force of the explosion had thrown him and Rey off the top of the factory. He'd shielded them with the Force when he saw the expression on her face right before the final blast. He'd guided them as well as he could to the ground but judging by the throbbing pain in his head it couldn't have been a soft landing. He got up to look for Rey but found her lightsaber first. She'd used scrap parts in its construction, but it was well-crafted, better than his own hobbled-together lightsaber. It suited her.

After the fight with the praetorian guard, he'd realized Rey was able to access his skills in a fight. Many of the moves she used effortlessly were ones he had worked hard to perfect, but the fight in the factory had been different. He'd rarely fought with a staff, but her skills were excellent and he'd found it more difficult to block and dodge her unfamiliar attacks. All that was her training, not his.

He found Rey a hundred meters away, lying unconscious just inside the forest surrounding the now destroyed factory. Forests. He was always meeting her in forests. He used the Force to scan for any injuries. Remarkably she only had a few scratches, though she would probably have a concussion when she woke up. He knelt down beside her, uncertain about what to do. _You could kidnap her._ Why? So she could hate him even more than she did now? _Then you have to kill her._ No. He couldn't. He'd realized that on the catwalk. He'd had a chance to swing a blow that would have ended their battle forever. He hadn't taken it. The battle was all he had left.

It hadn't been that long ago when she had been the first one to wake up after they'd both been knocked unconscious. That time the explosion had come from the kyber crystal they'd ripped in half when they'd battled for his grandfather's lightsaber. She had left him alive even though she easily could have killed him and taken his own lightsaber. She hadn't and he still didn't understand why. It would only be fair to do the same for her. That was the reason for his decision and certainly not the call to the light that seemed to grow stronger whenever she was near.

Kylo Ren took off his glove and gently stroked Rey's hair. This must be how she looked when she slept. What would it be like to wake up next to her? Kylo Ren put the lightsaber on Rey's chest and walked towards the remains of the factory to see if anyone else had survived the blast. He headed towards his latest problem and away from the problem he feared he'd never truly solve.

* * *

 

"Where's Rey?" Major Rawler had asked Finn several minutes ago when the rest of the raiding party met at the rendezvous point outside the factory.

"Kylo Ren is here," Finn panted, having just arrived. "He can sense her. She led him away so we could finish the mission."

"Kylo Ren is here, in the factory? Are you sure?" Rawler asked, insistent. The commander was a veteran of the war against the Empire and had enough white hair to prove it. She was older than the typical recruit, but they couldn't afford to turn down people who wanted to join up. She had retired years ago when it looked like the New Republic had the galaxy in order. Rawler had come out of retirement after Luke's last stand on Crait, one of many veterans who'd rejoined the Resistance when it became clear tyranny had regained the upper hand in the galaxy.

"Rey said she sensed him. It's some sort of Force thing," Finn replied, unsure how to explain it since he still didn't understand exactly how the Force worked.

Rawler turned to the member of the party who had the ignition switch. "Give that to me," she snapped.

"Wait, what are you doing? We're supposed to blow it in five minutes, after the shift change is over, so there are less casualties!" It hadn't been that long ago that Finn could have been one of those guards. Most of them weren't evil. They were doing the only job they'd been given an opportunity to do. The Resistance wasn't here to mindlessly deal out death to every member of the First Order. The Resistance only killed when it was necessary for the greater good.

"If we have a chance to kill the Supreme Leader of the First Order, we take it," Rawler replied, her hand on the detonation switch.

"No! Rey's still in there! She's—" Finn never got a chance to finish his sentence. The sound of the explosion drowned out what he was about to say.

He turned around in horror to see large plumes of flame erupting from the factory like a volcano. The second set of charges detonated fifteen seconds later and then the third and fourth rounds after that, staggered strategically to ensure the destruction of the materials within the factory as well as the factory itself. Finn gaped in horror. He should never have let Rey go off alone. If he hadn't reported to Rawler that Kylo Ren was there, the Major wouldn't have blown the charges early.

Finn whipped around, took two steps towards Rawler, and punched her hard in the jaw. Her body made a thud as she fell to the ground unconscious. Finn looked at the rest of the group who stared at him in shock. "I'm going back for Rey. If I'm not back in 10 minutes, leave without me." Then he ran towards the flames.

Finn kept low as he approached the side of the building Rey had lured Kylo Ren to. Most of the damage was at the opposite end of the factory, so the surviving First Order officers weren't paying much attention to this area – yet. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and crouched down. He turned to look into the forest and saw Kylo Ren standing over Rey's unconscious body.

Finn was no match for the most powerful dark side user in the galaxy, but he wouldn't let Kylo Ren harm or kidnap Rey without a fight. Finn turned the safety off on his blaster and started moving toward them, keeping himself to Kylo's back and seeking cover behind a tree. He stole a glance from behind the trunk and was confused when he saw Kylo Ren kneeling next to Rey, stroking her hair. Then the Supreme Leader got up, leaving Rey's lightsaber on her chest, and walked away. Was it a trick? Did Kylo Ren sense his presence and hope to lure him into a trap? He had to take the risk. He only had five minutes to get back to the rendezvous point or they'd be stranded on this planet.

Finn attached Rey's lightsaber to his belt, picked her up, threw her over his shoulder, and prayed the rest of his party hadn't left without the mutineer and the last Jedi.

* * *

 

Kylo Ren walked down the ramp of his shuttle into the bay of the star destroyer where General Hux was awaiting his arrival.

"Welcome back, Supreme Leader," Hux said as he bowed his head. Hux's uniform was neatly pressed and not a hair was out of place on his head. He took pride in looking and acting the part of a General as much as he enjoyed being one, perhaps even more.

"General Hux," Kylo Ren said his underling's name like it was the name of an intergalactic plague. "I trust you've read the report about the attack on Nochgen?" Hux fell in step next to Kylo Ren as they walked down the length of the flight bay.

"Yes, it will be a major setback to production, undoubtedly. But I'm confident we can ramp up our other factories to pick up most of the slack."

Kylo Ren stopped short and Hux almost tripped over his own feet to avoid colliding with the Supreme Leader. "It's a strange coincidence, isn't it, that I was scheduled to review the facility at the same time the Resistance planned to blow it up?"

"You suspect a traitor?" Hux replied, feigning shock in that overdramatic way he had. "I'll launch a full investigation immediately. Anyone unfaithful to the First Order will be dealt with."

Kylo Ren stepped towards Hux, leaning in close enough to smell his breath. "I certainly hope so, General. Otherwise I'll have to deal with it myself." Kylo waited a moment for the intimation to set in, then turned on his heel and walked off.

Hux watched Kylo Ren stomp off like the petulant child he was. He wondered how far away Ren had to be before he could be sure the Supreme Leader couldn't rifle through Hux's thoughts. When Ren stepped out of sight, Hux took the risk of reflecting on how much the Resistance had disappointed him. It wasn't unexpected, of course, considering how undisciplined and disorganized they were, particularly after the loss of most of their forces last year and the hasty way they were rebuilding. When he'd leaked the information about the factory on Nochgen to the rebel informant, he'd hoped the Resistance would solve the problem of Kylo Ren for him. It was an important factory to lose, but anything smaller wouldn't have guaranteed their enemy's interest. He'd been careful not to mention that the Supreme Leader would be there, but made it clear a certain date and time was optimal for attack because of guard changes or some other ridiculous excuse. If one of the Resistance members had been caught and interrogated, nothing would have suggested an assassination attempt.

He had meant what he said. Anyone unfaithful to the First Order would be dealt with, and he planned to start with the man who had slaughtered Supreme Leader Snoke, the pretender Kylo Ren. His reign was only one year long, but it was already a disaster. He acted more like a moody toddler than the commander of the greatest militaristic government the galaxy had ever seen. The grip they'd held on the galaxy was starting to slip because of his emotional decisions. If Ren had listened to Hux on Crait and not been distracted by his petty fight with an old Jedi master, the Resistance would already be dead. Instead, they were causing problems on almost every planet and hints of disorder were occurring even aboard their own ships. Kylo Ren didn't believe in the First Order like Hux did, he was there because he wanted power for himself and nothing more.

If the First Order were to reach its true glory, Kylo Ren had to go. Hux knew Ren must suspect him, but he had no proof. Ren might be emotional, but he knew the military was more loyal to Hux than to him. If the Supreme Leader were to make a move against the General, he'd need ironclad proof to avoid a military coup in retaliation.

Hux still had time to right the course of the galaxy, but this time he'd have to do it himself.

* * *

 

Rey didn't know where she was when she woke up, but Finn was sitting next to her so she knew she must be ok. He was asleep and drooling slightly on his shirt, so she poked him gently with her finger.

"I'm up, I'm up, no pushups please!" he rattled off quickly as he sat up in his chair.

"Pushups?" Rey asked.

"Rey, you're awake!" Finn broke into a smile so bright it could light the whole galaxy. "Pushups? Oh, yeah, pushups. When I was a stormtrooper they'd make us do 20 pushups for every minute we were late for duty. I have this recurring nightmare that I get lost and show up half an hour late and I collapse trying to do 600 pushups. So then they make me do another 600 pushups for not finishing the first 600. I kind of have a fear of pushups now."

Rey couldn't help but laugh. How had she survived nineteen years without a friend like Finn? Rey looked around and saw she was in the infirmary of one of the fleet's ships. She sat up in bed and felt a bit dizzy. "What happened?"

"Major Rawler almost blew you up is what happened. Don't worry, I punched her. I don't think they're going to court-martial me." He paused. "Probably."

Suddenly it came flooding back to her. The factory. Kylo Ren. The way she'd felt in his arms. "Why did Rawler blow the charges early?" she asked, trying to distract herself from that last train of thought.

Finn looked down, unable to meet her eyes. "I told her Kylo Ren was in the factory, so she decided to trigger the explosion early." He looked back up at her. "I tried to stop to her. I'm so, so, sorry, Rey."

_You think the Resistance is your family, but they're not._ Kylo Ren's words echoed in her mind.

"I told Poe about it and he was pissed, but he's not going to punish her because she was the ranking officer and it was her call. Can you believe that! He said she'd met Emperor Palpatine once when he was in the Senate and always regretted that she could have killed him if she'd known how evil he'd become. That's why she was so quick to cut loose a fellow soldier, because she didn't want to miss another chance to take down the big bad. I told her even stormtroopers don't push each other into the line of fire, and man, did that get her worked up. Rawler was like, 'No single person is more important than the Resistance. Any one of us is expendable if it helps take down the First Order.' I told her she was wrong and if she wanted to see who was expendable, I'd show her."

Rey listened numbly. Her real family had basically left her for dead on Jakku, so maybe the Resistance had turned out to be like her family after all. What she wanted was someone to love her unconditionally and to be part of a family that was loyal to each other before anyone or anything else. She had that with Finn undoubtedly. Probably with Chewie too. And with Leia…she wasn't sure. She'd grown close to the general, but Leia had devoted her whole life to fighting for freedom. If she had to choose between Rey and freedom for the galaxy, what would she decide? Rey wasn't sure. Would it even be right to ask Leia to choose one person over a better fate for the entire galaxy? If Leia did choose Rey she'd be saddled with guilt about it forever. Leia would do it for Ben though, she was sure of that.

Although she'd made many friendships in the Resistance, she realized what Rawler said had truth to it. Loyalty to the cause came first, loyalty to each other second. Perhaps that's what Kylo Ren had meant when he said they weren't her family. She'd thought her search for belonging had ended, but she now realized that the Resistance could only fill part of the hole she had felt inside her since she was a child.

"Poe took me aside after and told me he didn't agree with Rawler's choice, but she was right that none of us were bigger than the cause. He said I shouldn't be such a hothead. Poe! Poe Dameron, is telling me not to be reckless! Can you believe it? I know he's had to step up into leadership ever since Crait, but man, even BB-8 thought that was funny."

"Finn, do you think the Resistance is just using me for my power?" Rey asked softly.

"What? No. Why would you think that?" Finn replied.

Rey shook her head. "It's nothing. I just…" she trailed off.

Finn leaned closer to her and whispered, "Does this have anything to do with Kylo Ren?"

Rey tensed. "Why would you think that?" she asked, turning his own question back at him.

"I saw him, Rey. After the blast, he woke up before you did. He could have killed you or kidnapped you. Instead he gave your lightsaber back, and then he stroked your hair."

He'd stroked her hair? She hadn't known that. She wondered what Ben's hair would feel like. Soft? Silky? Would she ever get a chance to find out? When she didn't respond, Finn asked her again, "What's going on, Rey? You can trust me. You know that."

Rey felt like she might start to cry. She had cried so often in the past year that she could have flooded the Jakku desert. "It's hard to explain. We have this bond through the Force. When it's open, I can feel what he's feeling. Sometimes I can see him and talk to him from across the galaxy."

"You've been having secret talks with our biggest enemy?!" Finn whispered loudly, clearly upset.

"Not recently." She knew that excuse wouldn't go over well if anyone else found out about this.

"Rey, I don't know what's going on between you two, but it's got to stop. You can't be chatting with the Supreme Leader of the First Order _and_ be the Light of the Resistance."

"I never asked to be the Light of the Resistance!" she replied, a bit too loudly. The medical droid in the corner turned to look at her and then turned back to its duties organizing supplies. "I believe in the Resistance. I want take down the First Order as much as anyone, but I'm not used to so many people relying on me. They expect so much. They think I'm a Jedi, but I'm not. I feel like I have to earn my keep, and if I don't…" She feared she'd be thrown out like trash again, like her parents had done so many years ago, but she couldn't bear to say it. She'd always wanted to belong somewhere. If not here, then where? She'd felt like she'd found her place fighting for freedom in the galaxy, but for someone fighting for freedom, she was starting to feel awfully trapped.

Finn grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "You don't have to earn your keep, Rey. I'll always be your friend, no matter what. And as your friend, I think Kylo Ren has been putting ideas in your head to manipulate you. Don't listen to him." Rey nodded, but she still had doubts. Kylo Ren knew her more intimately than anyone in the galaxy, and he'd been wounded deeply by his own family. He could have been manipulating her, he might have said something to hurt her because she'd hurt him, or perhaps he was trying to warn her so she wouldn't feel the same pain he had when everyone who was supposed to look out for him had let him down.

She was still trying to sort out the truth when Rey was slammed by a cold wave of emotion, like she'd been plunged into bottomless well of ice cold water and couldn't breathe.

"Rey, what is it?" Finn asked with concern as Rey took several small gasps.

She didn't want to believe the words she was about to say, but she knew they were true. "It's Leia. She's gone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I view Rawler like someone who met Hitler before WWII and always regretted not killing him. That's no excuse for blowing up Rey though! 
> 
> That's right, it wasn't a coincidence that Kylo Ren and Rey crossed paths, it was Hux all along! I love the idea that all this importance put on guard shift changes was just a cover for manipulating the Resistance to attack at a certain time.
> 
> I would be surprised if Kylo Ren lasts more than a year or two as Supreme Leader. He's not well-suited for it at all. Does he even have any government experience? Just because you're good at killing your boss doesn't mean you'll be a good boss, and wouldn't you hate having Kylo Ren as your boss?
> 
> I hate to kill Leia off-screen, but that's how it worked out. This fic is my vision for how Episode 9 should play out, so I thought I should work with the same limitations the writers face in real life, namely Carrie Fisher's death. RIP Carrie. I loved seeing my childhood princess become a badass general.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren works out his aggression and Rey catches a glimpse of the past.

Kylo Ren was taking his frustrations out on a punching bag and the punching bag was losing.

Hux had tried to kill him, of that he had no doubt. He didn't need to search the General's mind for confirmation, and what good would it do him anyway? As far as the other Generals were concerned it would be his word against Hux's, and Kylo Ren was a known liar. He knew no one believed that an untrained girl had killed Supreme Leader Snoke, eight members of the praetorian guard, and just happened to leave Kylo Ren alive before she fled. If any of his officers _had_ believed that, he would have demoted them for incompetence. They had gone along with the lie because they feared him.

He still hadn't managed to gain the loyalty or respect of the high-ranking members of the First Order. It hadn't mattered much when he was Snoke's apprentice, but now that he was in charge it concerned him. He'd learned this year that ruling by fear only got you so far. If no one like him or respected him, they had no reason to be loyal to him. Some officers were obsequious, but they would favor whoever was in power at the time. He hadn't cared about being liked before he became Supreme Leader. He'd given up on that years ago. It was something Ben Solo had wanted and it had made him weak. But if his underlings didn't like him and didn't respect him, it was difficult to trust them; it was difficult not to believe everyone was out to get him; it was difficult to get anything done even though he was supposedly the most powerful person in the galaxy.

He'd watched his mother play these political games for years and he'd thought her stupid for not taking what she wanted by force instead. Now he found himself wishing he'd paid more attention and learned how to play the games she was so masterful at. People underestimated her skills with the Force because she tended to use it invisible ways like feeling the emotions of people in the room, figuring out what arguments would best persuade them, and using it to steer meetings so things actually got done. Most people would have been surprised if they knew her true strength in the Force, but they shouldn't have been. He was one of the most powerful Force users ever. Who else would he have gotten his power from but his mother?

He put the full weight of the force behind his last punch and launched the punching bag across the room where it collided with the metal wall hard enough to leave a small dent. He didn't have many occasions to use hand-to-hand combat, but he did get a primal satisfaction from beating the shit out of something. Previously he'd used a lightsaber to take out his anger on control panels, but if he was going to earn his officers respect he'd realized he needed to stop taking his frustrations out so wildly. It was better to focus his anger and disappointment like a finely focused laser on whoever or whatever had wronged him, not destroy whatever inanimate object was nearby. Only when he was in public though. Beating up inanimate objects in his personal gym was one of the only things keeping him sane.

_You got everything you wanted and you're angrier than ever._ Rey's accusation had been like a kick in the stomach because he knew it was true. Anger was an important way to access the power of the dark side, but he'd never expected to be so angry all the time, not when he'd finally accomplished what his grandfather had tried most of his life to do and failed.

Becoming the Supreme Leader of the galaxy hadn't been what he thought it would be at all. Boring tasks took up all the time. He had to review budgets and production goals. He had to learn the inane details of politics on planets they were trying to dominate. He was trying to contain small signs of insurrection in the stormtrooper program that had never occurred before stories about that traitor had spread. He had to keep an eye on his high-ranking officers to make sure they weren't plotting against him. He'd had to initiate an investigation into finding someone who was embezzling funds from the First Order. He had to deal with problems in the supply chain caused by rebel sabotage that disrupted distribution of food and weapons. He had to deal with smugglers sneaking past blockades. He had to enforce order across thousands of planets at the same time. And dealing with all these tedious problems was distracting him from what he truly wanted to do, which was crush the Resistance. Yet the Resistance seemed to be flourishing more than ever. He'd tried to delegate some of these responsibilities, but that was hard to do when you couldn't trust anyone. He constantly had to threaten people who weren't performing up to expectations.

Ruling the galaxy was a miserable job. If this was his destiny, why wasn't he enjoying it more?

_Snoke and Luke are dead, so there's no one left to blame for your misery but yourself._ He'd blamed his unhappiness on those who had wronged him and assumed he'd find fulfillment and satisfaction once he'd blotted them out of existence. He hadn't killed Luke directly, but the effort of projecting himself across the Force to distract Kylo had killed him, so he was indirectly responsible for his old master's death. The man who was supposed to love him unconditionally but had decided to murder him instead was gone. Good.

As for Snoke, he had begun to realize after his master's death that Snoke had been manipulating him in ways he hadn't been aware of. He'd given Kylo little nudges here and there, whispered thoughts into his mind using Kylo's voice to hide their true source. It was only when those whispers and nudges had vanished that he'd realized they'd been there in the first place. His abuser was finally gone. Good.

His father, who had never been able to stay put for more than a month and seemed to love his ship more than he loved his son was gone. As for his mother, she was still alive, but she'd cared more about the New Republic than she had about her own son, so he'd help obliterate it. Good. Everyone who had wronged him when he was a child had been dealt with. Good, good, good.

And yet, he still wanted to demolish things. He wanted to scream into the void of the galaxy. He wanted to smash anyone who dared disagree with him. He found himself getting angry over little things that weren't worth his trouble. Last week he'd yelled at an officer whose lapel pin was slightly crooked, as if any of that mattered.

He thought when he became Supreme Leader he'd be able to do whatever he wanted, bend people to his well, and crush his enemies. That was what the dark side had promised him. And yet, here he was alone in a gym, trying to punch the galaxy in the face because he felt so powerless. Where else was there to go from here? This was the end of the path he'd always imagined for himself and a quiet voice inside of him made him wonder if he'd made all the wrong choices. It was the light calling to him, he knew. He'd never been able to snuff out its flame entirely, no matter how hard he tried.

What was even more unsettling was he hadn't seen Luke since his death. His parting words had been, _See you around kid_. It had sounded like a threat and he knew it would only be a matter of time before his uncle appeared as a glowing blue Force ghost to scold him for all his decisions. The fact that he hadn't shown up was far more disturbing than if he had come to torment him. What was he waiting for? It was the perfect time to come say I told you so. Had he stopped caring about his nephew all together? He wasn't sure if that thought made him happy or sad.

Kylo Ren started removing the tape he'd wrapped around his knuckles before working out. Suddenly he felt a warm embrace, like the Force was wrapping him in a hug, comforting him. It was love. Pure, undiluted love, pouring through his bloodstream, make him feel safe and content and that all was right in the galaxy. It was his mother. It was his mother's unconditional love.

And then sharply she vanished and the room felt colder than any ice planet. There was a hole in the Force where she had been a moment before. Kylo Ren reached out through the galaxy as far as he could. He'd always been able to sense a flicker of her in the Force when he wanted to. But now there was nothing. Just the cold empty vacuum of space.

His mother was dead. He was truly an orphan now.

* * *

Rey had never been to a funeral before. Plenty of people had died in the harsh wasteland of Jakku, but it was rare for anyone to stop and weep over it. You couldn't waste your water on tears when you lived in a desert. She had sometimes wondered what would have happened to her body if she had starved to death. Probably another scavenger would have taken her boots and any items they deemed valuable without bothering to bury or burn her body. They would have let the scavenger animals pick the scavenger clean, leaving only sun-bleached bones in the sand.

Leia would not suffer that fate. She had been one of the most beloved members of the Resistance. Even those who had butted up against her respected her courage and dedication to the cause. She had devoted her life to fighting for freedom in the galaxy and had gotten so much suffering in return. Yet she had never wavered.

There was no body to bury. Leia's shuttle had been blown up as she had been fleeing the planet Antar. She had gone deep into First Order territory to meet an old contact she'd had from the war with the Empire. He was an Alderaanian, like she had been, one of the last living survivors from the planet that had been destroyed long before Rey had been born. He'd claimed to have vital information that could turn the tide of the war, but he would only entrust it to Leia. Had it been a trap? They weren't sure. Leia had managed to send a transmission from her ship just before it had exploded. She'd sent it over public channels, probably as a last-ditch effort to make sure her mission wasn't in vain, but it was encrypted in a format none of their slicers knew how to crack. They guessed it was an Alderaanian cypher used during the Clone Wars, something both Leia and her contact would have known how to decrypt but no one else had used for decades.

One of the generals knew a slicer in the Bel'van system who had done work for Alderaan during the war who might know how to decode the transmission. Rey and Chewbacca had volunteered to find him. Chewie had known Leia longer than almost anyone else and had become a family member, not just her husband's best friend. Neither Chewie or Rey would let Leia's death be in vain. The woman had done so much to help Rey, to guide and nurture her, that she would have liked to have had a mother like Leia. It was hard to believe her son had turned out the way he had when his mother was such a strong force of light in the galaxy, but perhaps a light that strong couldn't help but cast a long, dark shadow.

"Mistress Rey," C3P0 trundled onto the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon carrying something in his hand. Rey was running some pre-flight checks before they were about to leave.

"What is it Threepio?" Rey said distractedly.

"As you may know, General Organa Solo left me with directions to execute in case of her untimely passing." Rey stopped what she was doing and turned to look at Threepio. "My mistress wanted you to have this. She made her instructions very clear." The droid handed her a holocube. Rey had no idea what was on it, but the thought that Leia had left something for her made a lump form in her throat and threatened to make her cry for what seemed like the hundredth time this week.

"Thank you, Threepio. I'm so sorry for your loss." She knew many people didn't consider droids to be sentient beings, just walking (or rolling) artificial intelligence programs. They didn't have the same rights as organic beings, but she considered Threepio to be a person, if a somewhat annoying one, particularly since he hadn't had his memory wiped in decades and had developed a complex neural network as a result.

"Thank you, Mistress Rey," Threepio said in sad, low voice unlike his usual chipper tone. "I wish you good luck on your mission." Threepio shuffled away. When he was gone, Rey turned on the holocube.

An image of Leia and Han Solo appeared. They were younger and happier than she'd ever seen them. Han had one arm around Leia and was using the other one to gesture someone into the holocube's view. A young boy, perhaps five or six years old ran into the frame holding a toy X-Wing in his hands. He ran around in circles making pew, pew sounds as his short black hair flopped up and down.

It was Ben Solo. Before he became Kylo Ren. Before he'd succumbed to the dark side. "Ben, put that down and smile for the recorder," Leia said.

Ben walked straight up to the camera and said, "I'm going to be the best pilot in the galaxy like my dad and a Jedi and also build really fast starships!" Then he ran back to his parents. Han mussed his son's hair and Leia chided him for it. "Not when we're taking a holograph, Han!" He smirked and rolled his eyes at her. Leia straightened Ben's hair and they smiled for the camera. Then the holocube shut off.

Why had Leia wanted her to have this? She'd never told the general about the secret conversations she'd had with Ben, but she suspected Leia had sensed their deep connection without Rey ever having to say a word. Leia was the most intuitive woman Rey had ever met. _She doesn't want you to give up on him,_ Rey thought. People called Rey the Light of the Resistance, but it was Leia who had been the true beacon, the fire that never went out. Even now that she was gone, she was still trying to steer the course of the universe toward the light.

Chewbacca came into the cockpit and sat down in the co-pilot's seat. Rey put the holocube in her pocket and wiped a tear away from her eye. Chewie patted her on the back and growled sympathetically. Rey forced a smile on her face like she always did when she was trying to hide how sad she was. Chewie growled that the ship was ready for takeoff. "Good," Rey said. "Let's go find this slicer."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I liked the idea that Ben is only now starting to realize how skilled his mom was at what she did. I know that as I got older I had more appreciation for the challenges my parents had faced when I started facing similar challenges myself.
> 
> It might just be me, but ruling the galaxy seems like a shitty job. If modern politics are any example, at least half the galaxy is going to hate you no matter what you do. There's a lot of tedious, non-glamorous bullshit you've got to deal with every day. If you want to be any good at what you do, you've got to work long hours. There's always going to be someone coming for your throne, so you'd be constantly paranoid. I think Kylo got what he thought was his dream job and discovers he actually hates it instead.
> 
> Full Disclosure: I'm basing Kylo's character arc on Zuko in season three of Avatar: The Last Airbender who is one of my favorite characters in all of fiction. Zuko got everything he wanted and he was miserable. That was the only way for him to realize he needed to make a change.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren considers his options.

Kylo Ren got the report explaining his mother's death less than a day later. She'd been in the Antar system, practically the heart of the First Order. It was rare for someone as high-ranking as her to delve that deep into enemy territory, so she must have been doing something important. The star destroyer _Interlocuter_ had destroyed his mother's ship and then moved on to another solar system. He was on his personal shuttle to intercept the _Interlocuter_ and get an explanation for what had happened. He needed to do it in person, not over the holonet, so he could sense any possible deception. No one in the First Order knew his old name. They didn't realize they'd killed the last person in the galaxy who had loved him.

He was still several hours away from his destination, alone on the shuttle, alone in the galaxy. He was sitting on his bed in loose black clothing. He'd tried to get some sleep, but it was pointless. He was staring at a data pad, reading the report on his mother's death for the seventeenth time, trying to see if he'd missed an important clue. He found nothing.

He swiped left on the data pad to view the report on his father's death. Then he swiped again to pull up the file on Luke. The word "DECEASED" was stamped on top of each of their photos. His uncle, dead. His father, dead. His mother, dead. He'd never seriously considered going back to his family though he knew his mother had wanted him to come home, but where was that supposed to be? They'd moved around a lot so the closest thing that qualified as home was the Millennium Falcon, and that ship was too intertwined with his feelings of disappointment with his father to truly feel like a home. His mother had once said home wasn't a place, it was the people you loved who loved you back. If that was so, he had no home in the galaxy.

Almost everyone who had known him as Ben Solo was gone. He was truly Kylo Ren now. That thought should have satisfied him, but instead he felt a bottomless pit of sorrow inside his chest. It had been his choice to leave, but he'd also enjoyed the power it gave him to deny his family what they wanted most, his safe return. But now there was no one alive that wanted him to come back. No one missed him and no one cared. He thought Rey might have been that person for him, but she had rejected him like everyone else. It was one thing to shut a door and choose not to walk through it. It was another to find that door locked all together and realize you'd been trapped inside when you had thought you'd been locking everyone else out. He'd built a prison of his own making and now he had to live in it.

He started to sob. Not weeping, not crying, but deep-lunged, breathless sobbing. He made a guttural sound of pain, for all he'd lost and all he didn't realize he'd needed until it was gone. There was no way out of his situation. He couldn't quit being Supreme Leader. He had too many enemies that would pounce on him if they detected any weakness. He couldn't make things right with Rey. He couldn't run home to his mother. He couldn't do anything but stay locked in the cell he'd created for himself.

He looked at the lightsaber on the bedside table and a new thought flickered through his mind. Maybe there was a way out after all. It would be so easy. All he had to do was place the handle underneath his chin and flick a switch. It might be the only thing in the galaxy that could end his misery. He started to reach for the weapon.

"NO!" Rey exclaimed. She appeared beside him in an instant, not slowly fading in like she always had before. He was so startled he jumped. She looked like she was really here, sitting on the bed next to him in a loose white sleeveless top and shorts that appeared to be for sleeping. He wasn't sure if she was real or if he was hallucinating what he longed to see.

She touched his arm and he could feel her strong bright presence in the Force. She was real. "Don't do that, Ben. Please." She had a pleading look on her face, like she truly cared if he lived or died. It made him start sobbing again. He couldn't help it. He hated looking so weak and broken in front of her, but he also knew she was the only person who understood what it felt like to have no one alive who loved you.

Rey pulled him into her arms and he buried his face in her shoulder, staining her shirt with tears. She rubbed his back in small circles at first and then reached up to stroke his hair gently. It was even softer than she'd imagined it would be. Ben hadn't realized how much he had missed the physical touch of another person until she'd wrapped her arms around him and held him to her chest. Ben started to take deep breaths to control his sobbing. He felt calmer and calmer the longer she held him. They started to breathe in the same rhythm and he thought he heard their heartbeats sync up as well.

Ben shifted slightly and now instead of Rey holding him, they were holding each other. He pulled her more tightly against his chest and she didn't resist. Her hair smelled like grass and sunshine and pine needles in a forest. He nuzzled her neck and she made a soft sound of pleasure that was the most beautiful noise he'd ever heard. He turned to look at her, to gaze into her brown eyes, and the love he saw reflected back at him made his heart swell.

He kissed her gently on her lips and she kissed him back, cupping his face with her small hands. He deepened the kiss and she responded eagerly. His hand dared to brush the side of her breast and she didn't resist.  He pressed his forehead against hers and opened his eyes to revel at the feelings he felt flowing forth from her, then pushed her down on the bed behind them, his powerful, large frame dwarfing her. He could feel the warmth of her body pressed against his like he had at the factory. He could feel her desire radiating towards him like a warm, glowing fire.

And then she vanished. Gone as suddenly as she appeared. Had he done something wrong?

_No_ , he thought. He'd sensed fear in her as well as desire. She was as startled as he was by the strength of their connection, the deep need they had for each other that they'd tried to deny for so long. She had left because she was scared of everything that meant. He was scared too, of needing her so badly, of letting someone see him at his most vulnerable.

His mind was made up now. If he was going to end his misery, it wouldn't be at the end of his own lightsaber, it would be by finding a way to be with Rey of Jakku.

* * *

Rey's heart was racing as she stared at the ceiling of the crew quarters in the Millennium Falcon. She could barely believe what had happened. Wasn't it just a few days ago that she'd told Finn that she wasn't talking to Kylo Ren anymore? Which was true, of course. He hadn't said a word. They'd let their bodies do the talking.

She'd felt his endless chasm of sorrow as she was trying to fall asleep on the journey to Bel'van. The pain had burst through the connection despite all she'd done to lock it down. His suffering poured out like a river that was drowning him, and she felt like she was gasping for oxygen as well. She knew his pain had been caused by his mother's death, and she missed Leia too. She thought of the young boy in the hologram with doting parents. Han and Leia had done so much for her, was it worth the risk of reaching out to their son now that they no longer could, even if he might be able to track her location? She was still debating it when she felt the thought of suicide enter his mind. That set her off like a blaster and suddenly he was there beside her, more broken than she'd ever seen him.

She'd comforted him as best as she could and before she knew it they were kissing and she liked it and she wanted more. She wanted it so badly that it frightened her and she was gone before she did something she might regret. Still, it was the only thing she could think of for hours, failing to get any sleep.

And it wasn't just Ben's touch she craved. There were so many things she wanted to talk to him about, like how stressful it was when everyone was counting on you but also exciting to know you could make a difference in the galaxy. She wanted to talk with him about how thrilling it could be to know the Force had great plans for you, but also terrifying that you might mess it all up. She wanted to tell him how the Force made her feel so powerful, yet so powerless to its currents. She wanted to know if he felt all alone in a room full of people like she did.

Once the Falcon dropped out of hyperspace, she and Chewie left the ship to find the slicer who might be able to decode the message Leia had died for. She already knew what Leia had lived for: the fight for freedom, her family, and most importantly Ben Solo. What did Rey live for? She thought her answer might be the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Kylo was going to commit suicide at that moment, but he'd decided it was an option when it hadn't been one before. It's my understanding that people who contemplate suicide feel like they're trapped and there's no way to make anything better, which is how Kylo feels here.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren makes a discovery.

Kylo Ren was piloting his shuttle towards the star destroyer _Interlocuter_ but his mind was somewhere else. He'd come up with a plan to be with Rey. It would be hard to get the First Order and the Resistance to agree to it, but he was sure he could do it with persuasion.

Rey wanted the people she cared about to be free from the First Order's rule. All right, he would give her that. He would annex a few star systems in the Outer Rim and give them to the Resistance to do with as they pleased. They could form whatever pathetic government they wanted which would inevitably fail within a few decades. They could have all the freedom they wanted as long as they stayed in that sector, signed an armistice, and agreed not to form a military. In exchange, the First Order would leave them alone. There would have to be inspections of course, to ensure the rebels weren't in violation of the disarmament agreement, but that could be sorted out later. There would be peace in the galaxy, and that's what Rey wanted, right?

In exchange all he would ask is that she open the Force bond and let him talk to her again. They could meet in person if she wanted to, and he desperately hoped she wanted to. They could find a planet near the border to meet, a place with plants and trees and lots of green and a lake. They could train together. There was so much he could teach her about the Force, so much he wanted to show her. They could make that family she craved so badly. She wanted to be with him too, he could feel it for certain now. But she knew as well as him there was no place for in the galaxy for them as things were now. This was the only way to carve out a piece of space for them to be together.

There would be people in the Resistance and the First Order who would be against it, strongly against it. He would do whatever it took to get them to agree to the plan. Surely this was a better offer than the Resistance had ever dreamed of getting. It would spare so many lives. And if anyone in the First Order made a fuss about it, he'd snuff them out, make an example, and everyone would go along eventually or they'd pay a price.

Kylo finally arrived in the Halonite system where the star destroyer was in orbit over an uninhabited planet for reasons he couldn't remember nor cared about. It wasn't his job to hand out every fleet assignment. Kylo landed in the flight bay of the star destroyer and was met by General Partax, a middle-aged woman who had been reliably efficient, though not necessarily extraordinary in carrying out her duties. She hadn't been one of the officers he was worried about plotting against him, but her involvement in Leia's death was beginning to make him question that.

"Supreme Leader," she bowed to him. "It's an honor to have you aboard."

"No need for pleasantries, General. I think you know why I'm here."

She nodded. "Of course, sir. We think General Organa Solo only managed to get her hands on a small portion of the plans for Operation Requiem. We're working on decrypting the message she sent before she died, but our best slicer hasn't been able to crack it. If it's taking us this long, we doubt the Resistance will decode it before the operation launches in seven days. And even if they do, they won't know the full extent of what is planned."

What _was_ planned? What was Operation Requiem? Kylo Ren had no idea what she was talking about. "I certainly hope not, General. I would hate for something this important to go awry because of your negligence."

Kylo felt fear stir within her. "I assure you, we'll be prepared and ready."

"That's something I'll have to determine for myself. Let me see the message Organa Solo sent, and I want to review all the materials related to Operation Requiem to ensure you've stayed on top of things."

"Of course, Supreme Leader."

* * *

 

Four hours later, Kylo Ren would have strangled General Hux from across the galaxy if he could have.

He wasn't sure what he was more upset about, that Hux had planned a major military operation behind his back, or that it had taken Leia's death for him to finally notice. But he had his proof now. The plans General Partax had given him were evidence that Hux had undercut Kylo's authority and planned a massive operation without the Supreme Leaders permission. He'd execute Hux when he got back to the star destroyer, and the other Generals would have no justification to stage a coup because of it.

Kylo got in his shuttle and was flying out of the gravity well of the planet in order to jump to hyperspace. He was so focused on his impending revenge that he didn't pay attention to the tingle at the edge of his senses until a half-second before the bomb went off.

He flung the explosive device off the exterior of the shuttle with the Force, but it still exploded close enough to his ship to cause massive damage and make it plummet towards the planet below. As he entered the planet's atmosphere, he discovered he could only use thrust to control the path of the ship, making it nearly impossible to steer. All he could see below was an endless ocean. He slowed the craft as much as he could with his piloting abilities and the Force, but he still hit the water at high enough speed to cause the ship to break up.

The impact made Kylo feel like a hover-bike had slammed into his chest, but he managed to swim to the surface and grab onto a piece of floating wreckage. He heard the sound of engines coming from above. General Partax must have seen what happened and sent a ship to rescue him. Yet as the noise grew louder he saw that it wasn't a shuttle coming towards him, but two heavily armed TIE fighters with their guns pointed at the wreckage. He took a deep breath and swam as far down as he could before he heard the muffled sound of explosions through the water. He used the Force to slow his heartbeat and reduce his need for oxygen. After six minutes he couldn't bear it anymore and surfaced next to what remained of the shuttle.

The TIE fighters were gone and he couldn't hear their engines anymore. He didn't think they were coming back for a second pass, but he kept his senses alert just in case. He hadn't bothered to learn why the star destroyer had been in orbit around an uninhabited planet, but he suspected he'd just found out. Hux had tried to kill him again. Had General Partax been a part of it, or had she been used as a pawn? He wasn’t sure.

There was no doubt in his mind that Hux had planted the bomb on the shuttle without him noticing, perhaps by accomplices on the star destroyer. Then he'd instructed two TIE pilots to follow the shuttle and destroy Kylo when he crashed on the planet in case he managed to survive the blast. As if that weren't enough, Hux had purposely sent the star destroyer to an uninhabited planet in a backwater part of the galaxy in case Kylo somehow survived the bombing and the TIE fighter attack. There was no way off this planet and there was no way to call for help on comms now that his shuttle was destroyed. He had a begrudging respect for how Hux had planned for so many contingencies.

He was trapped. Alone. Floating in an ocean with land nowhere in sight. No food. No fresh water. Nothing but a few pieces of wreckage and the Force. And he wasn't sure if anyone in the galaxy cared.

The most powerful man in the galaxy had become the least powerful man in the galaxy in the span of five minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo is so self-deluded when he thinks all he has to do is give the Resistance a crappy part of the galaxy and Rey will run away with him. It's like when Jane Eyre found out Rochester already had a wife and he tried to convince her to run away with him to France and be his mistress and she was having none of it. There's no way Rey would have gone along with this. (Oh, uh, spoiler alert for Jane Eyre.)
> 
> It's humbling to see how quickly everything can be taken away from you no matter how powerful you think you are. The Force will show you who really rules the galaxy, bitch!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey gets some news and Kylo Ren lets the Force take control.

The holonet was saying Kylo Ren was dead, but Rey didn't believe it. She'd felt his sense of panic yesterday and knew something awful had happened. She'd tried opening their Force bond to talk to him, but he'd kept it clamped down. Still, he was definitely still alive.

The First Order was blaming the Resistance for Kylo's death, of course. General Hux had assumed command of the First Order, declared himself an Admiral, and vowed to bring Kylo Ren's killer to justice. The First Order's news headlines said, "Supreme Leader assassinated by cowardly rebel traitors." She'd contacted Poe and he was surprised as anyone to hear about Kylo's death. She'd told Poe she didn't think Kylo Ren was dead, but hadn't been able to explain why, passing it off as a vague feeling in the Force. There was no way to tell Poe more without making herself look like a traitor. And she already felt like one because she couldn't stop thinking about how soft Ben's lips were or what the weight of his body had felt like when he'd pressed her against the bed. She tried to focus on her mission instead.

Rey and Chewie had found the slicer and he was able to decrypt the final message Leia had sent before her death. The First Order was building something that might doom the Resistance. The information was far too sensitive to transmit over the holonet, even using the best encryption the Resistance had. She needed to deliver it in person, so she and Chewie refueled the Falcon and headed back to the Resistance base as fast as possible. She hoped it wasn't too late.

* * *

 

Kylo had been floating in the ocean for three days now. His skin was peeling from sunburn. His mouth was parched and dry. He was starting to feel physically weak from not eating. He hadn't gotten any proper sleep since the crash, and he was afraid if he did try to sleep he might slip off the small piece of wreckage he was clinging to.

He didn't want this to be the way his life ended. He would have rather gone out in a fight or been destroyed in a blaze of glory. He felt so pathetic and helpless. He'd felt Rey try to contact him through the Force bond, but he didn't want her to see him this way. He could have asked her to come get him, but he no longer had anything to offer her in return. How was he supposed to annex a sector of the galaxy for her if he couldn't stop a coup in the government he supposedly ran? It had been an impossible dream he'd clung to like he now clung to the wreckage of his shuttle craft. It was clear it had never been a real possibility.

There was a time he would have raged against that and embraced the anger he had so often felt about the injustices in his life. Now he was just painfully resigned to it. It was anger that had led him to where he was now, and screaming at the ocean wouldn't save him.

If he couldn't be with Rey and he couldn't be Supreme Leader of the galaxy, where was he supposed to go? What was he supposed to do?

The only thing he could do: let the Force take control.

He'd fought against that for years, trying to dominate his own destiny instead, but now it seemed like his final option. He gave himself up to the Force and waited to see what it willed for him.

At the end of the third day it willed him a piece of land.

Kylo thought it might be an illusion at first, but it grew larger and larger as he drifted to the shore. When he was a hundred meters out he let go of the floating wreckage and swam to shore and stumbled up the beach. He laid there for a few minutes, grateful to be on solid ground and not lost to the back and forth swaying of the ocean.

Water, he needed water. Kylo used what little strength he had left to wander into the tropical forest in search of water. It didn't take him long to find a stream. He collapsed in front of it and placed his mouth directly in the flow of water, sucking up as much as he could until his mouth was no longer parched.

He heard a noise only a few meters away and turned his head to see a warthog creature that was as tall as his waist. His dinner had good enough manners to walk right up to him. He reached for his lightsaber and crept up on the beast as quietly as he could. He let out a grunt and started to charge the creature. He pressed the switch to ignite his lightsaber—

—and nothing happened. The blade didn't ignite. It didn't even let out a spark. The warthog was startled by the noise Kylo had made and ran into him, toppling him to the ground. He lay there for several moments before inspecting his lightsaber. The wire that ran along the handle had been cut, probably in the crash.

No matter how bad things got, there was always farther to fall.

* * *

 

Kylo managed to gather some berries and roots that were edible and that was the best thing he could say about them. Scavenging for food made him think of Rey. He'd felt so hungry after not eating for three days that he thought his stomach was going to digest itself. How often had Rey felt like that? What was the longest length of time she'd gone without food when she was struggling to survive?

He headed back to the beach and managed to build a fire in a small pit he dug out of the sand. He was glad he'd learned some basic survival skills as a child because it was one of the few things he had left. His dignity certainly wasn't one of them. He should be planning his revenge on General Hux, but instead he stared up at the sky at the faint glow of Rey's presence in the constellation near the horizon. He watched the stars creep slowly upward for hours due to the spin of the planet until he eventually had to lie on his back to see them.

He should call her. He should have done it days ago, but his selfish desire not to look weak had stopped him. Hux's Operation Requiem would launch in just days and she needed to know what he had planned or else she might not survive. But what if she decided it was best for the galaxy to leave him stranded here? He knew she wanted him. He had felt that the night they held each other, but she cared deeply for her friends, and she wasn't one to put her personal needs above those of others. He'd glimpsed in her memories that she couldn't even bring herself to turn in that BB-8 droid in exchange for enough rations to feed her for two months. Even if he dared to believe she loved him, it didn't mean that she was going to save him. He was scared to call her, more scared than he'd been of almost anything, because he knew her answer could destroy him. He would rather drown in the ocean than have her reject him.

"You know, Ben, you could try talking to her instead of staring at her from a million miles away."

Finally. His uncle had arrived to taunt him like Kylo always knew he would.

Kylo Ren sat up and glared at the blue, semi-transparent form of the man who'd tried to kill him, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. "We both know it's the only way you're getting off this planet," he continued. Luke was sitting by the fire though Kylo Ren doubted a Force ghost could feel its heat.

"I was wondering when you'd show up. Of course, it would be when I'm at my weakest and most pathetic."

Luke sighed. "Ben, I'm not here to torment you. You do that well enough by yourself. I want to help you."

"Unless you have a shuttle I can use to leave this planet, I don't want your help."

Luke cocked his head to the side. "If I did have a shuttle, where would you go? To the First Order? I don't think so. I think you're relieved you don't have to go back there."

Kylo swallowed hard, trying to come up with a cutting remark to rebuke his uncle's statement, but he couldn't. The thought of being Supreme Leader again made him feel sick. He didn't want to go back, but he didn't know how to go forward either.

"There's no place in the galaxy for me. There never has been." He hated the self-pity in that statement, but it was true. He had never fit in anywhere.

"Everyone has a place. It might not be on a certain planet or with the Resistance or the First Order, but it could be with someone who brings out the best in you."

Kylo Ren snarled. "That's all you were ever interested in, wasn't it? The best of me, not all of me." Kylo felt anger surge within him. "I tried so hard! I tried to be the perfect Jedi everyone wanted and everyone expected, but that's not who I am!" He stood up and stomped closer to Luke. "The dark side is a part of me. It always will be. You could never accept me as I was. You always wanted to change me. You _and_ my parents!"

Luke said nothing. He considered Kylo Ren's accusations for a moment and replied, "I'm sorry if we made you feel that way."

Kylo clenched his fist. "I don't need a half-assed apology from a self-righteous ghost."

"What you need is some self-awareness. You're angry that I tried to make you into something you're not, but you've been doing the same thing ever since you left."

Kylo seethed inside as he realized Luke was right. He'd been trying to become like Darth Vader, but it wasn't who he really was. He'd been pursuing the life his grandfather had wanted at one time, and he'd only started to realize it wasn't the life he wanted at all.

"What _do_ you want?" Luke asked, seemingly aware of his thoughts.

Power. Control. To never let anyone hurt him again. That was what he'd always wanted. He thought it would bring him happiness, but it had only brought destruction and more pain.

Rey.

He wanted Rey. He wanted her love. He needed her. She was the only person who'd ever seemed to understand him. She was the only person who'd seen him as he was and accepted that, as painful as it had been for her. She had tried to drag him into the light with her, but when she saw he wouldn't change she hadn't tried to force him to. She had left. She hadn't killed him, though she'd had the chance. She'd let him remain who he was even though that was someone she could never be with, someone who was her enemy.

"Call her," Luke said, once again seeming to know Kylo's mind.

"It will never work. There's no place in the galaxy for us."

"Then make one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only thing worse than having Luke pop up whenever he wants is knowing he could but he doesn't. It's like the slap-bet plotline from How I Met Your Mother. It would keep you constantly on edge. It's probably a bit of a relief for Ben that Luke finally shows up, even though he still hates him.
> 
> I've been watching some YouTube videos about screenwriting and one of them mentioned a concept called "the lie the hero believes." In this case the lie Ben believes is that power and control will bring him personal fulfillment, when it's really unconditional love and acceptance that will do that. He never got that acceptance from his parents or Luke, but he feels it from Rey. He starts to realize he's believed a lie when he loses power and control and is relieved by it. Once the hero realizes they've believed a lie, then they can start to change. (The YouTube channels I recommend are "Just Write" and "Lessons from the Screenplay.")


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey hears Ben's call for help.

Ben had brooded over Luke's comments through the night and when dawn came he went to the spring to clean himself up. It was practically pointless. His hair was frizzy from the tropical forest's humidity. He had four days of stubble growing on his face. Some of his skin was still peeling from the sunburn. His clothes were torn in several places. He hoped she wouldn't be able to smell him through to Force bond, because he was severely lacking in that department too.

He took a deep breath and reached out through the Force and prayed that Rey would respond.

* * *

Rey was in a meeting with the top Resistance members reviewing the information Leia had died to get them. It was a Death Star. Another fucking Death Star. She could barely believe it. You'd think they would know that a Death Star was never going to last, but here they were again. In less than a week they would be delivering the kyber crystals necessary for the superlaser to work. If the Resistance attacked the base at that time and intercepted the shipment, it would take years for the First Order to accumulate that many crystals again.

Then she felt it, Ben Solo reaching out to her, finally. She excused herself from the meeting and tried to find a private spot in the Resistance base where she could talk to him. She found a supply closet, darted inside, and opened the Force bond. Ben Solo faded into view before her and he looked more beaten down than she ever had on her worst days on Jakku.

"You look terrible!" She whispered as loudly as she could. Ben was taken aback by the bluntness of her comment, and Rey felt bad about using so little tact when he'd clearly been through hell. "What happened to you? The holonet said you were dead."

"Why are you whispering?" he asked.

"Because I'm in a supply closet and I don't want people to think I'm talking to myself like a crazy person."

"Oh," Ben replied. "I'm not dead."

"I know that."

He already felt awkward and he hadn't said a dozen words to her. "I'm stranded in the Halonite system."

"Stranded?"

He hated begging, but he was completely at her mercy and there was no point hiding it. "I need a ride."

Rey couldn't believe the boldness of his request. "You want me to swing by and drop you off at the First Order?"

"I'm not going back to the First Order." This comment caught Rey off-guard, something Ben Solo often did. "General Hux is planning a major operation against the Resistance. I can give you the details if you'll drop me off at the nearest spaceport. Then you'll never have to see me again. I swear."

Rey hesitated, trying to sense whether this was a trick. "Hux is calling himself an Admiral now, and we decoded Leia's final message, so we already know about the Death Star."

"No, you don't."

"I found a slicer who decrypted the message, Ben."

"I decrypted it too. My mother taught me how to use that cypher years ago. There's more to the plan than she knew. The Death Star is just a ploy. It's not the real objective."

Rey couldn't sense any deception coming from him. If anything, he seemed uncharacteristically humbled. "How do I know this isn't a trap?"

"Search my mind. You can take whatever you want." Rey reached out cautiously and sifted through his emotions. There was sadness from his mother's loss, simmering anger at Hux, and a sharp fear that she would abandon him there which made her heart ache. How could she abandon someone when she knew how deeply that hurt? And underneath it all she felt the powerful glow of Ben's love directed towards her like a warm light. It made her blush and her heart beat faster. But she sensed no deception, and she appreciated how hard it had been to make himself vulnerable to her.

"It'll take me about a day to get there."

Ben let out of breath of relief he hadn't realize he was holding. "Thank you."

* * *

Rey could feel Ben's presence as soon as she and Chewbacca jumped out of hyperspace, just as she had that day at the factory. She'd told Poe to hold off on executing any plans until she came back from a meeting with a high-level First Order contact. She hadn't mentioned who that contact was. She guided the Falcon to the beach close to where she sensed Ben. Chewbacca growled at her to be careful as she left, his bowcaster in hand just in case.

She felt Ben's presence at the edge of a cliff not too far from the ocean. They'd arrived just after sunset, so she had to pick her way carefully through the dark. There he was, sitting in calm silence, so different than the angry man she'd encountered several days earlier.

"You arrived just in time," he said.

"In time for what?" Rey asked, sitting down beside him cautiously.

"Just watch," he said, never shifting his eyes away from the ocean. Rey looked out at the water, but she wasn't sure what Ben was talking about. She couldn't spot anything in the dark and she wasn't sure if he was playing a game with her. Then several streaks of light appeared just below the surface of the water, then more, and more, until there were hundreds of them glimmering yellow, blue, red, and purple. The light appeared to be caused by bioluminescent fish that had stripes and spots that glowed in all the colors of the rainbow. Then they started leaping out of the water in a dazzling display of light and crashed back under in a random endless symphony of movement. It was one of the most gorgeous things she'd ever seen.

"It's beautiful," she said.

"Some things you can only see in the dark," he replied, and she sensed he was talking about more than just fish.

"Why are they doing that?"

"They're feeding on insects that are attracted to the light."

"Oh," Rey said. The fish needed the light to attract their prey, but they wouldn't have been visible when the sun was reflecting on the water. They depended on the dark to stand out and attract the attention of the insects. They needed both the darkness and the light to survive, relying on both aspects of the Force. Darkness wasn't always bad and light wasn't always good. They could be used in both ways, sometimes together at the same time. It was balance.

"I suppose this is meant as a lesson?" She asked.

Ben scoffed. "No. If I ever start giving pretentious Force lessons, push me into the ocean." Rey laughed and was fairly certain they were thinking about the same pretentious Force teacher at that moment. The two sat together for another minute, quietly admiring the light show on the ocean, enjoying each other's presence.

"You were right about me," Ben said. "I was miserable being Supreme Leader, and it was mostly my own doing. Every choice I've made, I thought it was the right one at the time, but my life is worse than ever," he said, his voice breaking. "I feel like I can't do anything right."

"That's not true," Rey said, trying to comfort him. "Killing Snoke was the right thing to do."

"Snoke," Ben said the name like a curse. "I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like if Snoke had never found me."

In the past year Rey had sometimes wondered what her life would have been like if BB-8 had never found her. She'd probably still be on Jakku waiting for people who were never coming back. "You were right about me too," she said, hugging her knees to her chest. "A year ago, I could have starved to death and barely anyone would have noticed. Now I feel like the whole galaxy is depending on me, and I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm just making it up as I go along and hoping no one notices."

"You’re not the only who's felt like that."

"Sometimes I want to hop in the Falcon and fly away from it all," she said wistfully, knowing she'd never really abandon her responsibilities. It was a nice dream though.

"We could fly away together," Ben said, his voice trembling, as though he knew his offer was going to be refused by her again, like she'd refused to become his student or to rule the galaxy with him, yet he had to ask all the same.

"What?" Rey said, unsure of what he meant.

"Forget the First Order. Forget the Resistance. Leave it all behind. Let's go somewhere else. Together. Wherever the Force takes us."

Rey felt her breath catch in her throat. She wanted to say yes. She wanted him. She wanted to discover what the Force had planned for them. But…

"I can't abandon my friends," she said remorsefully. "They'd never be safe. If anything happened to them, I'd blame myself."

Ben could feel she had been on the edge of saying yes. He wished she'd be more selfish. If only it weren't for her damn friends, that traitorous stormtrooper and the cocky pilot his mother had favored. They were adults who could make their own decisions. How could he convince her that their lives were their own and it wasn't her job to keep them safe?

Ben was hit with a jolt of clarity. Suddenly he saw a way to turn Hux's plan against him and use it to give the Resistance an overwhelming advantage in the war and perhaps end the conflict all together.

"If I could show you how to burn the First Order to the ground in week. Would you run away with me then?" Ben asked, desperate to hear her say yes. Rey hesitated for a moment, unsure if there was truly a way to destroy the First Order as quickly as he suggested. She'd been prepared for the war to last for years, if not decades.

"If I knew for certain that my friends would be all right…" she said, transfixed by the intense way Ben was looking at her. Could she really do this? Did she want to? She realized at that moment what the answer to both questions was. "Yes."

A huge smile formed across Ben's face and she felt delight knowing she was the cause of his rare expression of joy. "But you have to tell me how, Ben." So, he did. It was a daring plan, and it depended on several things going their way, but if it worked she had no doubt Finn, Poe, Rose, and the galaxy wouldn't need the Light of the Resistance to ensure their survival any more.

* * *

Ben and Rey walked back to the beach, but Ben stopped short when he saw Chewbacca at the bottom of the ramp of the Millennium Falcon. He hadn't realized the Wookie had accompanied Rey on her trip, and he didn't know what to say as he looked into the face of his father's closest friend, the friend who had shot him with intention to kill after Ben had ended his father's life.

"Chewie, I—" Ben was interrupted by Chewie's loud, agitated growl, scolding the boy he'd known since he had been born for all the trouble and pain he'd caused the past few years. Ben couldn't look him in the eye, ashamed of what he'd done and could never undo. He didn't see Chewie approach. The Wookie scooped him up in a tight hug, rocking Ben back and forth, and then mussed his hair. And like that, all was forgiven.

Ben choked back tears. "How can you forgive me like this?" he said. Chewbacca shrugged and then growled, _You're family._ Ben had assumed Chewie had written him off forever the day Han died, but he was wrong, there was someone in the galaxy who still loved him after all.

"Come on," Rey said from the top of the ramp, smiling at the sweet reunion. He followed Chewie onto the ship and stopped a moment, overwhelmed by being on his father's ship again. _"_ I brought some clean clothes for you," Rey said. "They're in the crew quarters." She pointed in that direction as she headed for the cockpit. Then she popped her head back out again. "They're black."

A small smile creeped upon Ben's face at that comment. Ben headed for the fresher to clean a week's worth of grime off himself, though it felt like he might be starting to wash off several years of mistakes instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pray to God that Episode 9 does not involve a super weapon. Enough with the super weapons already! Be more creative! I feel so strongly about this that I had a character in my fic comment on how stupid another super weapon was. Thankfully this whole Death Star thing is a ploy. You'll get more details on what's really going on later.
> 
> I can't decide if I should call that species of fish the Metaphori or the Analogi :) Hopefully that bit wasn't too heavy-handed.
> 
> Thank you to the people on Tumblr who pointed out that the "Rule of Three" might apply to Kylo's offers to Rey. In "The Force Awakens" he offers to be her teacher and in "The Last Jedi" he offers her power, but she turns him down. In Episode 9 it would make sense if he offered her something else, like his love, and she said yes. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RuleOfThree
> 
> I think Ben would be annoyed by the fact that Rey has friends because I doubt he's ever had good friends and the entire concept is foreign to him.
> 
> Awww, Chewie still loves Ben! I hope you guys didn’t think I'd forgotten that when Ben was suicidal earlier. Ben was just too much of a dope to realize it. Chewie's still pissed about Han's murder, no doubt, but Han died trying to save Ben so doing anything to hinder that would be disrespectful towards his memory.


	8. Chapter 8

Several hours later, Rey found Ben sitting on the floor in the main hold. She'd given him space and time to clean up and deal with the complicated emotions his father's ship had triggered in him. She'd sent a message to Poe requesting that only he, Finn, and Rose meet her when they landed because they were the people most vital to the plan. Getting them to go along with it would be the first of many obstacles Ben and she would have to overcome to be together, but she was confident they could do it.

One of the panels was missing from the wall behind where Ben sat. He was toying with a folded piece of paper in his hands. "What's that?" Rey asked as she sat down next to him.

"When I was a kid, I'd hide things behind that panel for my father to smuggle whenever he went away. He'd replace it with a toy when he came back. It was a game we played." Ben stopped fiddling with the paper in his hands.

"That's sweet," Rey said, thinking of the man who had a prickly shell protecting a soft heart, not unlike his son. "Was there still something in there after all these years?"

Ben nodded and handed her the paper. She unfolded it and couldn't help but laugh. It was a rough sketch, clearly done by a child, of a notorious superweapon with the words "Death Star Plans" written on it. "Well, I'm glad these didn't fall into the wrong hands," Rey joked. "But if you drew this and put it in there, shouldn't Han have switched it out with a toy?"

"He forgot," Ben said. "He remembered a few months later and apologized. I told him it was a stupid game and I was too old to play it anyway."

"I'm sorry," Rey said.

Ben began to choke up. "I shouldn't have killed him." His voice wavered. "I thought the dark side was where I belonged." Even if she hadn't felt his pain through the Force, every emotion was written on his face like it always was. Perhaps that was one of the reasons he used to wear a mask.

Rey touched him on the shoulder, "He forgives you. I know it."

Ben turned to look at Rey, tears welling in his eyes. "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. She reached out to give his hand a squeeze. His hands were much larger than hers, but she liked the way they fit together. He was looking at her like she was the only women in the galaxy that mattered. She leaned in to kiss him and he pulled her into his lap. They kissed each other softly at first, savoring the taste of each other's lips. When that began to feel too much like a tease, Rey's kisses become more insistent and deeper. Ben responded eagerly, wrapping his arms tighter around her. She traced the outline of his bicep through his clothes, thinking of the physique she'd admired during one of their Force chats, longing to take off his shirt to get a closer look at what she'd seen before.

"I wish we were alone," Ben said in a husky voice, and Rey could feel his breath on her neck.

"Me too," Rey sighed. "But I needed a co-pilot." She was referring to Chewbacca, who remained in the cockpit, hopefully unaware of what his two passengers were up to.

"I'll be your co-pilot," Ben whispered in her ear. She liked everything his words implied. She pressed her forehead against his for a long moment, then nestled her head on his shoulder. Ben started stroking her back slowly.

"Mmmmm," Rey murmured. "No one else has ever held me like this. It feels so good." Rey thought of all those lonely nights on Jakku when the warmth of his body would have been more valuable than 100 portions of food. Ben could have sat entwined with her for hours, if not for the distracting presence in the Force he felt not far away.

"Rey, what's in that drawer over there?" Ben asked.

"Oh, those are the ancient Jedi texts."

Ben pulled back to look her in the eye. "You found the ancient Jedi texts? Where were they?"

"They were on a shelf in a tree." Ben stared at her for a moment before he burst out laughing, deep-throated, belly-aching laughter, and he couldn't seem to stop. She'd never heard him laugh before, but she was delighted to see him stop brooding, even if she didn't understand what was so funny.

"I spent years searching for those texts," Ben explained. "I never thought to check local forests."

"It wasn't in a forest," Rey replied punching him lightly in the shoulder. "It was in a hollowed-out tree next to the original Jedi temple."

"And you just took them? I guess you're a rebel and a thief," he retorted with a half-smile.

"I'm just borrowing them," Rey replied. "I'll bring them back someday. Hopefully when the fish nuns aren't there."

"Fish nuns?"

"They take care of the temples. They didn't like me."

"Fools," Ben replied.

"It's taken awhile to translate everything in the books, but there are some interesting concepts in them," Rey said. "You can tell they're still figuring out what they want the Jedi Order to be. A lot of the chapters are written by different people who have contrasting ideas. I've been wanting to talk to you about it," Rey said.

Ben was far more interested in the woman in his lap right now than books that were thousands of years old, but she was so enthusiastic about sharing what she learned that he tried to focus on what she was saying and not how her body felt against him.

"One of masters says it's foolish to devote your life just to the light or the dark. He thinks those forces need to be balanced within each person. There was a mosaic on the floor of the temple that seemed to express that. It showed a person who was colored half white and half black." Rey pictured the mosaic in her head and pushed the image into Ben's mind so he could see it. "Most of the other authors in the book disagreed with that philosophy and thought it was better to become a master of one side of the Force. They thought another master would rise up in the opposite side at the same time to balance things universally instead of within just one person. They thought an expert in one side would be able to hone their abilities better than someone who tried to learn to use both."

"You think this applies to me somehow?" Ben asked.

"You're too dark to be light, and you're too light to be dark. Luke saw the darkness and was scared of it. Snoke saw the light and thought it made you weak. What if they were both wrong? What if you're stuck in the middle?"

"I don't think it works like that," Ben said cautiously.

"Why?" Rey said. "Because that's what the Jedi and the Sith said? You're the one who said we needed to kill the past and build something new. What if you're not supposed to be dark or light but grey instead?"

"Struggling between the dark and the light has been what's tearing me apart my whole life. How could succumbing to that possibly be the answer?"

"The problem is you've been trying to choose one or the other! That's what's pulling you apart. You need to choose both and find a way to balance them within you. I think that's how you'll finally find peace, Ben. You need to be like those fish we saw that use both darkness and light to survive."

Ben could feel the hope and confidence beaming out of Rey's bright eyes. It had been a long time since anyone had believed in him the way she did. He could feel himself being pulled toward the light even now, listening to the passion in her voice. But he also felt the darkness within him saying it was a lie that would make him weak, though that felt less overwhelming than usual.

"Maybe," Ben said stroking her hair before pulling her close to him. He had to admit he felt more balanced when he was in her presence. Her optimism and light made him believe there might be a path forward for him after all instead of the dead-end he'd seen when he'd reached for his own lightsaber so many nights ago. In turn, he knew his darkness had forced her to face hard truths about her parents that she'd needed to confront to move forward with her own life. They did seem to balance each other.

Rey had given Ben a lot to think about, but he just wanted to hold her while he could. They stayed like that for a long time until the Falcon dropped out of hyperspace. Then they prepared to face the first obstacle between them and ten thousand more nights in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to lay out the concept of a Grey Jedi here. I think that's where Episode 9 is headed.
> 
> And Ben laughs! Yay! Our boy is starting to take himself less seriously.


	9. Chapter 9

"I have a bad feeling about this," Ben said. Rey stood with him in the cockpit behind Chewbacca, who was piloting the Falcon towards a planet not far from the Resistance base. It was mostly uninhabited, but the Resistance had been using an area on the southern continent to pick up dead-drops from smugglers. This allowed the Resistance to get the supplies they needed without revealing the base's location. As they flew closer to the surface, she could see a Resistance ship parked in a field of lavender grass that was at least a knee high.

"You have to make your case in person, Ben. It's the only way we have a chance of convincing them to go along with this. If I simply tell them you've switched sides—"

"I haven't switched sides. Just because I've left the First Order doesn't mean I've joined the Resistance."

Semantics were the last thing Rey cared about right now. "If I tell them you're cooperating, they'll assume it's a trap and they'll never go for it."

"It'll be hard to convince anyone if I'm immediately executed for war crimes."

"I won't let them hurt you," Rey assured him.

"Who are you more concerned about, the person I tortured or the person I almost killed?" Rey couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"Well at least you've never done anything personally to Rose." The Falcon landed with a slight bump. Rey started to walk down the corridor towards the exit ramp, but Ben didn't move. Rey could feel the anxiety swirling in his chest, the uneasiness he felt at asking other people for help to get what he wanted instead of taking it by force.

"If you want to run away with me, you'll have to start by walking," Rey called to him from the corridor. Ben followed her to the exit ramp and stopped her before she pushed the button to open it.

"Don't call me Ben in front of the others. FN—Finn—is the only one who knows who I am and I'd like to keep it that way." Rey nodded, pressed the button, and walked down the ramp. Ben stayed about ten paces behind. When Rey stepped off the ship she saw Poe, Finn, and Rose walking towards them, only twenty meters away.

And bringing up the rear was a shiny, golden droid. C3PO, human-cyborg relations.

"Mistress Rey!" Threepio called to her. "It's so wonderful to see you again. When I heard you were back I insisted on coming along. Did your journey go--Oh, my!"

Threepio's exclamation was followed by a curse from Finn and a shout from Poe. Rose stopped short in fear. At the top of Millennium Falcon's exit ramp stood Kylo Ren, former Supreme Leader of the First Order.

"It's all right!" Rey waved at them wildly. "He's with me. He's not going to—" Rey was cut off by the sound of blaster fire which Ben adeptly deflected with the Force. The shot hadn't come from the man Kylo Ren tortured or the one he'd almost killed. Ben turned towards the culprit, Rose Tico, and gave her a look that seemed to say, _How stupid are you?_ She stumbled back a few paces in fear.

"What the hell is going on here, Rey?" Poe Dameron shouted, his blaster drawn.

"He's not going to hurt anyone. He's going to help us destroy the First Order."

"Oh, really?" Poe turned to the man he knew as Kylo Ren. "Why would he do that?"

Threepio had finally caught up with the rest of the group and exclaimed, "Master Ben! Is that really you?" Ben turned to Threepio and gave him a look that could have melted his plating.

"Uh-oh," Finn mumbled.

"Ben?" Poe asked. "Wait, you don't mean? You couldn't possibly be? Ben Solo?"

Ben turned to Poe and deadpanned, "I take it my mother never mentioned me."

Poe stood was his mouth agape as he tried to process the revelation. "I thought you died when Luke Skywalker's temple was destroyed," Poe said.

"I thought he died last week," Finn muttered.

"Who's Ben Solo?" Rose asked.

"Ben Solo is the son of General Leia Organa Solo and General Han Solo," Threepio was happy to explain. "It is so very good to see you again! It has been an awfully long time."

"Hello," Ben replied. "Threepio, could you please calculate for me what the odds are that the Millennium Falcon would land on the exact set of blades of grass that it did, given the number of blades of grass in this entire field? Please take into account all meteorological patterns that could affect the wind currents, the rate at which the grass grows, and any photosynthetic properties that make it bend toward the sun. Also take into account a two-hour window for our arrival, the meteorological conditions that affected our ship's course, and the fact that the location where the Falcon landed was influenced by where the Resistance ship was parked. Oh, and while you're at it, calculate the same odds for your ship and for the positions where all six of us are standing right now."

"Oh dear, Master Ben! That will take quite a long time."

"I know." Ben smiled, pleased with himself.

"I shall start my calculations immediately. I'll get the ship's computer to help me," Threepio said as he shuffled back to the Resistance ship.

"Why didn't I ever think of that?" Poe murmured under his breath.

"He practically raised me. I know how to push his buttons," Ben said, glaring at Poe with contempt. When he'd ripped through Poe's mind a year ago during an interrogation, he'd seen that he was the son his mother had always wished she'd had, and he hated him for it.

"And how do we know you're not pushing our buttons?" Finn asked. "I know how much you hate traitors, but it looks like you're a traitor now too."

Ben glowered at the former stormtrooper and took a few steps toward him. "As much as I hate traitors, I hate _Admiral_ Hux more." He said the word "Admiral" with disgust. He turned to look at Poe. "He got my mother killed by leaking fake intelligence to the Resistance and he tried to assassinate me, twice. The only thing he loves is the First Order. Destroying that would be the best revenge."

"And then you'll swoop in and take over again, right?" Poe sniped.

"No, I won't." Ben replied. "Ruling the galaxy is overrated."

Poe studied the face of the man who had tortured him. He'd worn a mask back then, but his emotionless face was just as much of a mask now. He couldn't tell if Kylo Ren was telling the truth or not. There was a time when he would have gambled it all on an opportunity like this, but not anymore. He had thousands of people under his command, and he wouldn't risk them all on the slim chance Kylo Ren had changed.

"You'll have to get your revenge without us." Poe turned and strode toward the Resistance ship.

"Poe, wait, please! I promise you it's not a trick. I've searched his mind." But Poe was having none of it. He didn't even bother to stop and hear Rey's pleas.

Rey turned to Finn. "Finn, I know you have every reason to hate him, but we'll never get a chance like this again. Talk to Poe, please." Finn let out a huge sigh. He looked at Kylo Ren for a moment and then back at Rey, deciding whether he loved Rey more than he hated Kylo.

"Give me five minutes," he said as he walked after Poe, leaving Rey, Ben and Rose standing alone in the field. There was a long moment of awkward silence.

"Um, sorry about trying to shoot you before," Rose apologized as she fidgeted with her hands. "I thought you were evil." Ben didn't say anything in reply. "I think I'll just go check on the, um…" Rose trailed off. Then she turned around and walked back toward the ship at a fast pace.

"You know that was a lie, right? I don't care about revenge," Ben told Rey. "Well, I don't care _just_ about revenge." He walked closer and closer towards her until he could feel her breath on his face. "I'm doing this for you." It was the closest thing to a declaration of love that he'd ever uttered.

She smiled at him. "I know."

* * *

 

Poe had made it to the cockpit and was running through the pre-flight checklist when Finn burst in. "Poe, I hate to say this, but I think you've got to reconsider your decision here."

"I'm sorry, Finn, but I can't afford to be that reckless, especially now that Leia's gone. I just don't trust him."

"There's something he didn't tell you." Finn moved in close. "He's in love with her."

"What?"

"Kylo Ren is in love with Rey."

For the second time that day Poe was completely dumbfounded. "Kylo Ren is…capable of love?"

"They have some mystical Force connection thing. I don't understand how it works." Finn said.

"Are you saying he's doing this for a girl?"

"That is exactly what I'm saying. Just look out the window." Poe stared through the cockpit glass to see Kylo Ren and Rey standing only six inches apart, gazing deeply into each other's eyes.

"He's doing this for a girl." Poe repeated, still not quite believing it.

"Look, I hate him, too. He tried to kill me. I watched him kill his own father. But Rose once told me that we weren't going to win this war by destroying what we hate but by saving what we love. If even a part of you thinks that could be true, even for a guy like Kylo Ren, you should at least hear what he has to say before making a decision."

Poe considered Finn's words for a moment, unsure what the right decision was, something he'd learned was a never-ending feeling when you were the one in command. "I'll hear what he has to say. But I'm not guaranteeing anything."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do some computer programming in real life, and occasionally I'll write code that accidentally sends a computer into an endless loop, eating up all its resources so it can't do anything else. I liked the idea of someone doing this on purpose to C3P0 to get him to shut up. And with Ben and Leia always busy with other stuff, you know C3P0 must have been the nanny. He was probably one of the first beings Ben learned how to manipulate.
> 
> I thought it was important to point out Ben hadn't joined the Resistance. I don't see that happening. Even if he wanted to, I don't think anyone in the Resistance would take him up on that.
> 
> Ben basically tells Rey he loves her and she responds with, "I know." If you noticed this was a reference to The Empire Strikes Back, congratulations!


	10. Chapter 10

"The Death Star plans Hux leaked are fake," Ben explained as he, Rey, Poe, Finn, and Rose stood around the holographic game board on the Millennium Falcon. Chewie had decided his time was better spent napping than plotting to take over the galaxy. C3P0 was still on the Resistance ship calculating odds. The attack plan Ben had gotten from General Partax was stored on a chip that had been in Ben's belt case. It had miraculously survived the crash and several days in the ocean. He was using the game board to display images from that data. Currently a bright, blue, image of the Death Star was being projected.

"They're only building the outer shell of the Death Star to make it look like they're constructing another super weapon. They leaked the plans to lure out the Resistance fleet. They know you'll have to amass practically all your forces in one place to have a chance of destroying another Death Star."

"Why the Death Star? Why not another Starkiller base or some new super weapon?" Finn asked.

"Notoriety." Ben explained. "The Empire's most feared weapon was the Death Star. Everyone's heard of it. Everyone's scared of it." Ben pulled up an image of the interior of the faux Death Star. There was a machine inside that looked similar to a sub-light engine. "This is a device that will spew ariant-12 in all directions, penetrating every substance within 1000 miles. That includes people as well as starships."

"Ariant-12?" Finn asked.

"It's a radioactive isotope," Rose interjected. "It's fairly rare, but it's non-lethal even at high doses."

"It's not meant to be lethal," Ben pulled up a detailed image of the ariant-12 isotope. "The First Order has developed the ability to scan for anything infected with ariant-12 isotopes from as far away as 20 parsecs."

"Holy shit," Poe said, beginning to realize the true intention of the First Order's plan. "They want to mark us."

"Ariant-12 has a half-life of 92 years. During that time they'll be able to identify and locate anyone or anything that was at the location of the faux Death Star the moment the ariant-12 device was activated. Any First Order ships will jump out of the area right before it's remotely activated to avoid being marked themselves."

"And then they're going to track as down like groundnarls?" Finn asked. "Find out where our boltholes are and kill us where we live?"

"Practically any Resistance member will be able to be identified and tracked for the next 92 years," Ben confirmed.

"All right, we won't let them lure us in. How will any of that help us destroy the First Order?" Poe asked.

"The galaxy is a lot wider than 20 parsecs. When the trap is sprung, Hux will disperse the fleet across the galaxy so they can track you from a wide net once you leave the trap. The fleet usually travels in numbers for safety, but when they're this spread out they'll be more vulnerable to attack." Ben pulled up an image of the fleet assignments showing how dispersed they would be.

"Before Supreme Leader Snoke died, he was paranoid that someone might try to launch a coup," he continued.

"Considering what happened, it sounds like he wasn't paranoid enough," Finn scoffed.

Ben ignored the comment. "Snoke spent most of his time in the throne rooms on two different star destroyers. One of those ships was destroyed before the battle of Crait, leaving just the _Cataclysm_ , which Hux commands. Each throne room contained a specially built control panel that allowed him to remotely access a backdoor hardwired into each ship's computer system and install a virus. If anyone tried to go rogue, the virus could selectively shut down the shields, life support system, artificial gravity, communications, or any other system on the ship from anywhere in the galaxy."

"That sounds awfully dangerous," Rose chimed in. "You'd have to have put some serious security protocols on that device or else it could…take down the whole fleet."

"Exactly."

"And you're saying you know how to get past the security protocols and use this control panel?" Poe asked.

"It took almost a year. I divided the project into different silos so no one knew exactly what they were working on, but I was able to get past the security protocols for the first time a month ago. To access the panel I have to enter a pass phrase and another passcode that is dynamically generated every 15 seconds by a key generator. In addition to that, the system runs a voice recognition check and requires a DNA confirmation from me. The system checks to be sure the DNA comes from a living person, in case you're thinking of cutting off any limbs."

Finn and Poe looked at each other like that had been exactly what they'd been thinking. "All right, let's say you somehow sneak aboard the _Cataclysm_ \--"

"I'll go along," Rey said. "Between the two of us we shouldn't have any problems getting to the throne room and deactivating the fleet."

"How long until someone on board one of those ships figures out how to remove the virus and turn the systems back on again?" Poe asked

"It will depend on the competency of the technicians on board. Even if they override the virus they'll have to turn the systems back on in the right order. Some systems are dependent on others to work properly, so if they do it in the wrong order they'll have to start over. There will be some manual labor involved too and the ship's droids won't be working so they'll have to do it themselves. A crew with an expert slicer could extract the bad code and get back control of their ship in 3-4 days. Most ships will have to completely reinstall the software on hundreds of onboard computers, which will take at least a week, probably longer. And since comms will be down fleetwide each ship will have to figure out how to fix things on their own or wait for a repaired ship to locate them and make the fixes for them."

Poe studied the fleet positions on the holographic map in front of him and started to shake his head. "It's tempting all right. But the Resistance fleet is far smaller than the First Order. Even if we redirect all our forces towards taking over the crippled ships, we'll only be able to get ten or so in the first four days. In two weeks we might get to 35, but there are far more ships than that in the First Order fleet, and by that time several of them would be working again and helping fix other ships. It would be huge win, yes, but it's a far cry from destroying the First Order like you promised."

Ben turned to look at Finn. "That's where you come in."

Finn looked to the left and then the right as if Ben might be talking to someone else. "What, me?"

"Yes, you." Ben made a swiping gesture in the air and little red dots appeared on several of the ships in the fleet map. "These are the ships where we've recently had trouble with stormtrooper insubordination. They've been inspired by a stormtrooper who escaped the First Order and became a Resistance hero."

Finn stood up straighter and blinked. "They know about me?"

"We believe there's an underground network of stormtroopers planning a rebellion. They call themselves the Left Hand of the Resistance since the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing, the right hand being all of you. They've been scrawling the numbers 2187 on walls as some sort of battle call." FN-2187 had been Finn's serial number when he had been with the First Order.

"Due to Resistance sabotage this year there have been food shortages aboard many ships" Ben glared pointedly at Poe who smirked in return. "We've also had to re-task several garrisons to complete menial labor in addition to their other tasks to compensate for the factories you've destroyed. They've been underfed and overworked and they're reaching a breaking point. There have been two attempted mutinies this year. They were both sloppy and unsuccessful, but stories about the uprisings are spreading and empowering the movement." Ben used two hands to zoom in on a single ship on the map.

"We've been closing in on the ring leaders so we can snuff out the network. We believe they serve on the _Schism,_ though we don't know who they are. If they were given a viable opportunity to lead a revolt, I believe they have the supporters and resources on board to succeed."

"You want me to launch a stormtrooper rebellion?" Finn asked.

"You're their hero," Ben sneered. "When I disable the fleet's systems, I'll leave the comms working on the _Schism_ and set all the other ships so they can only receive messages from the _Schism._ If you get aboard the ship and take it over, you can broadcast video of your success across the entire fleet. I think this will inspire at least 20% of the ships to mutiny. If half of them succeed, you'll have control of 10% of the fleet."

"That would be a lot of ships," Poe said. "But what good are they if they can't go anywhere?'" Poe asked.

"I'll set permissions so the _Schism_ can view surveillance video feeds from the other ships. You can monitor those to see who has been successful and then send them an override code that will remove the virus and reactivate their systems in the proper order without the need for manual labor. At that point you'll have tens of thousands of stormtroopers willing to help you liberate the remaining ships in the name of the Resistance."

"That's an awful lot of ifs," Finn said. "And even if they do manage to mutiny, there's no guarantee they'll want to help the 'Right Hand' of the Resistance. They could just as easily decide to become pirates or raiders."

"If they do become raiders, as long as I'm able to access the master control panel I can reinstall the virus through the hard-wired backdoor and turn off their ship's systems again as often as I want to. If extreme measures were needed, I could remotely detonate their hyperspace drives, though that would kill everyone in the vicinity."

Rey grabbed Finn's shoulder gently. "I know you can do it, Finn. Tell them your story. Tell them what it was like to live like a slave and finally be free. If they believe in you, they'll follow you. I know, because I believe in you too." No one had looked at Finn the way Rey had that day on Jakku when he'd lied to her about being a hero of the Resistance. She was looking at him that same way right now, only this time he had a chance not just to be a hero of the Resistance, but a hero to his former stormtroopers too.

"All right," Finn said, swallowing hard. "I'll do it."

"None of this will matter if we tip our hand to the First Order. Currently the fleet is positioned in groups at various jumping off points around the galaxy. They've been instructed not to move until the Resistance fleet appears at the faux Death Star. Once that happens they'll spread out across the galaxy to widen their net in anticipation of tracking you. While that's happening, the First Order will put up a real fight at the Death Star so you won't realize it's a decoy and suspect there is an ulterior plan. That way you'll be certain to go back to your safe places afterwards where they'll hunt you down and kill any Resistance members who weren't at the battle."

"Then we'll have to attack the Death Star anyway," Poe said. "I've always wanted to attack a Death Star."

"You'll also need someone to deactivate the ariant-12 device so the First Order doesn't trigger it while you're there." Ben looked pointedly at Rose.

"Woah, I think there's some mistake. I don't know how to defuse bombs," Rose said.

"The device isn't a bomb. Any explosion great enough to distribute the ariant-12 isotopes would also render the substance inert. This device works on a principle similar to a sub-light drive, but instead of being designed to reduce exhaust, it's optimized to spread exhaust, which in this case is ariant-12. If you're a mechanic half as good as Rey says you are, you should be able to figure out how to disable it."

Rose perked up. "I think I would! It shouldn't be that different from rebuilding a broken-plasma filter, only this time I'd be un-building it instead."

"One thing I don't get is why Hux kept his plan secret from you," Finn contemplated.

"Because he wanted to get all the credit and all the glory. Now he'll be the one to get credit for destroying the First Order." Ben suspected that Hux had timed the assassination attempts to occur right before the attack so no one had time to overthrow Hux before he executed his master plan and secured his place as head of the First Order.

There was silence as the full ramifications of what they had planned started to set in. The image of the faux Death Star came up on the display again.

"All right, guys," Poe said, his decision made. "I guess we're going to blow up the Death Star."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the most plot heavy chapter in the fic, I swear!
> 
> Also, there's a plot! An actual plot! How did that happen? I am more amazed than anyone that I came up with a high-stakes plan for the final act that requires all the main characters, which is definitely how the real Episode IX will end. The moment I came up with this plan, I decided I had to write this fic instead of just thinking about it in my head every night in bed. I mostly read fanfiction for the romance, sexual tension, and hot sex scenes, so my interest in actual plots has been minimal, but I figured if I somehow managed to create one I should write it down.
> 
> I would love it if the stormtroopers were the unexpected heroes of Episode 9. I think they've set the groundwork for it with Finn's past. And there was a deleted scene from The Last Jedi where Finn turns the stormtroopers against Phasma by telling them she sold them out on Starkiller Base. I also like the idea that if you don't keep the proletariat happy they will rise up against you. Better working conditions for the stormtroopers could have prevented all this!
> 
> I recently had to reinstall the operating system on an old laptop and the process took about 3 weeks. Just tracking down the proper installation disks took several days, and then I had to install over a hundred online updates once the operating system was installed, and then I had to reinstall the software I needed. It was crazy. Can you imagine having to do that for hundreds of computers on one ship? Plus, they could get infected again at any time. It would be awful.


	11. Chapter 11

Rey was exhausted. The Resistance had been forced to throw together their new plan of attack in less than 48 hours because that's when the phony kyber crystal shipment was scheduled to arrive at the Death Star. If they didn't strike then, the First Order would suspect they'd figured out the deception. She'd been running herself ragged helping organize things and acting as a messenger between Ben and the rest of the Resistance when Poe had questions about the attack.

Poe had allowed the Millennium Falcon to land at the back corner of the base with strict orders that Kylo Ren must stay on board and out of sight at all times. Poe hadn't told anyone who their high-level First Order contact was. If the other members of the Resistance found out Kylo Ren helping them, he suspected he might face a mutiny himself.

Finally, everything was in place and she would have time for eight uninterrupted hours of sleep before the attack, though she didn't plan to do much sleeping. Chewie had decided to sleep in bunk on the base that night, which meant the sexual tension between her and Ben had probably been more obvious than she'd guessed. That left only Ben Solo on the Millennium Falcon. Alone.

Rey checked her appearance in a mirror before heading for the ship. She'd taken her hair down and she'd changed into a clean set of clothes that didn't have engine grease and dirt on them. She'd never been with a man before, though there had been a boy on Jakku she'd kissed once. He was the son of a drug smuggler and had offered to take her off-world but she'd declined. She didn't want any part of the drug trade, and she'd still been under the delusion that her dead parents were going to come back for her someday.

She wasn't certain, but she felt like Ben didn't have much experience with women either. They'd have to figure things out together, which excited and scared her. Rey boarded the Falcon with heady anticipation tingling down her nerves. She found Ben in the main hold, sitting at the game table with pieces of his dissembled lightsaber spread out in front of him. She'd scavenged some parts and delivered them to him earlier in the day so he could complete the repairs it needed.

"How's it going?" Rey inquired, trying to act natural. Ben was intensely focused on the project in front of him and hadn't noticed Rey's nervous demeanor.

"It's close. I almost have the replacement casing ready for the kyber crystal." Rey spied the red crystal on the table and could feel its life force radiating outwards.

"Ben, why is your lightsaber so…" she trailed off while searching for a tactful word.

"Unstable?" Ben asked, looking up at her finally.

"Yeah," Rey replied a bit sheepishly.

"The crystal is cracked and it's larger than most lightsaber crystals. That's why it flickers and why I needed to add a crossguard to vent the extra energy it generates."

"Have you tried fixing the crack?" She asked.

"I haven't been able to get that to work. Bending the crystal to work with the dark side turned it red and made it bleed. I think it's beyond my abilities to heal it."

"Can I try?" Rey asked with her hand out. Ben considered her for a moment and then stood up, placing the kyber crystal in her outstretched hand. Rey closed her fist around the gem and concentrated on healing it, using all her light-side abilities.

"It's resisting," she said. "Part of it wants to be healed, but the other half is pushing back against me." Ben stepped closer and took her hand, enclosing the crystal within their grasp.

"Let's try it together," he said. They focused all their Force ability on the crystal, both dark and light, working together to repair what had been thrown out of balance. Rey felt the crystal become hot as a strong white light started to emit from between their fingers, growing hotter and brighter until she thought it might burn her flesh. Then it stopped and she felt like the crystal had let out a sigh of relief. She released Ben's hand and looked at the crystal in her palm. It was a beautiful pearlescent white and there was no crack to be seen.

"We did it!" Rey exclaimed as she looked up into Ben's eyes. He hadn't been interested in looking at the kyber crystal at all. He'd been transfixed by the woman in front of him, like she was the one glowing bright and hot. Rey found it hard to breathe, returning his gaze with equal longing, feeling him reach out to her in the Force and she to him in return. Rey dropped the crystal to the ground, forgotten and unimportant, and pulled Ben down for a long, hard kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaped up to wrap her legs around his waist. Ben stumbled around the corner, looking for the closest bunk to deposit them on.

"Crew quarters," Rey gasped between kisses.

"It's too far," Ben mumbled breathlessly. The crew quarters were just down the hall.

"It has a door we can lock," Rey replied. She didn't want anyone interrupting them and she was sure C3P0 would find a way if he could. Ben groaned, but carried them down the hallway anyway, almost stumbling into the wall and then through the door, crashing down onto the nearest bed. He undid her belt as she pulled his shirt over his head, revealing his muscular body. Although they were equally powerful in the Force, Ben's size and physique made it clear he was physically stronger. Yet he was tender and gentle with her like he was with no one else, which stoked her attraction to him. She traced her fingers down the length of the scar on his shoulder that she'd given him.

"You marked me. It means I'm yours," Ben told her. Then he tossed her belt to the floor and tugged off the long blue strip of fabric she wore wrapped around her body. He grabbed the end of each one of her arms wraps and pulled those off too, unwrapping her like a present.

Rey clutched the back of Ben's head, pulling him forward for a kiss, as if being separated from his lips for even ten seconds was completely unacceptable. Ben pressed Rey back on the bed and kissed the crook of her neck, causing her to moan softly. Rey explored the muscles of Ben's back with her hands, and eventually let them wander below his waist underneath his pants. Ben pushed himself up by his arms and finished removing what was left of Rey's clothes, revealing the soft white skin she'd kept covered most of her life that had stayed undamaged by the harsh Jakku sun. She'd never allowed a man to see her naked before, and she was a bit nervous about what he'd think. He seemed transfixed by her chest and she realized he'd never been this close to a naked woman before. She undid his pants and they were quickly added to the growing pile on the floor.

Rey was amazed by how sensitive her skin felt pressed against his body. Every movement and caress seemed amplified beyond what her senses could interpret, and she could feel a reverberation through the Force of what he felt as they grinded against each other. Ben had a look of exquisite pain and pleasure on his face, like he couldn't quite handle what he was feeling either and they might both burst out of their skin at any moment and become beings of pure energy in the Force.

He hovered over her and looked into her eyes for one final look of consent. She nodded and then he pushed himself inside her slowly. They both groaned sweetly and he stayed still for several heartbeats before thrusting again agonizingly slowly, again and again. She saw tears start to form at the edge of eyes, so she reached up to caress his face.

"Ben," she whispered and he lost all control, coming fast and hard inside her, making a low guttural sound. She felt his wave of pleasure resonating through the Force which triggered her own orgasm and in turn deepened Ben's. They kept feeding on each other's pleasure for an endless, exquisite moment until they were both spent. Ben's arms became shaky, so he rolled onto his side and pulled Rey towards him before he could collapse on top of her, both of them panting. She could sense his feeling of embarrassment at losing it so quickly. He'd only been inside of her for twenty seconds at most.

"I love it when you call me Ben," he said as he nuzzled her ear. "It makes me lose all control."

"We'll have to practice then," she whispered back. "Several times a day." This made him smile so sweetly that she couldn't help but let his name escape from her lips again. "Ben." He looked into her eyes and pushed a strand of hair away from her face.

"I love you," he said, tears forming once again in his eyes. Rey began to cry too.

"No one's ever said that to me before," she said, feeling her heart swell with too many emotions to name.

"I'll say it every day if you want," Ben replied.

"Ben," Rey said.

"I love you."

"Ben."

"I love you."

"Ben."

And they whispered the words back and forth throughout the night as if it would never end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never written a sex scene before, so please be gentle. I have a lot of respect for erotica writers. As much as I enjoy reading fics where Rey and Ben have amazing, hot sex, I think the first time these two space virgins do the deed it will be fast and fumbling, and they will definitely both cry. However, once they practice more and Rey shows Ben where the clitoris is, I think they'll be having the best sex in the galaxy.
> 
> I also like that Rey was proactive about getting laid. This is the same woman who shipped herself to her boyfriend in a box. She doesn't hesitate to go after what she wants!
> 
> Ben will be redeemed by the end of Episode 9, so he can't have a red lightsaber because only the bad guys have those. I liked showing the Ben and Rey can do things together that neither one of them can do alone, like healing the crystal. Also, since Ben's finally getting his shit together, his lightsaber needs to become less cobbled together to reflect that. No more wires on the outside, Ben!


	12. Chapter 12

As commander of the fleet, Poe Dameron should have stayed aboard one of the main vessels to help coordinate the attack, but he hadn't purged all recklessness from his system. He'd insisted on leading the fighter squadron into battle against the faux Death Star and provide cover for Rose's ship as she headed for the center of the hollow battle station to defuse the real weapon that the First Order wanted to use against them.

He still wasn't sure if Kylo Ren was playing them. It seemed unlikely that someone who had sought power his whole life would give it up so easily. If he had deceived them, he'd most likely pulled Rey to the dark side to do it. Major Rawler had said no single person was greater than the cause, but he hoped he didn't have to put that philosophy into effect against Rey if she turned out to be a traitor. Assuming he survived at all.

"All ships prepare to jump to hyperspace," Poe said over the comms. The fleet was assembled just a short jump away from the faux Death Star. "You ready, BB-8?" Poe asked his beloved droid. BB-8 beeped a positive response.

"Admiral Hugs better watch out, because here we go," Poe said mostly to himself. He turned his fleetwide comm on and gave the order to jump to hyperspace.

* * *

 

"If our coordinates are even a fraction off, we could be obliterated when this star destroyer makes the jump," Rey told Ben as they sat in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, floating in the middle of space without a planet or moon in sight. They'd positioned themselves slightly below the spot where the _Cataclysm_ was scheduled to jump so they could attach themselves to a blind spot on its hull. Then they'd cut through the exterior to enter the ship and sneak into the throne room.

"The coordinates are exact," Ben responded. "Don't worry."

"What if Hux made changes and we didn't get the most recent version of the plan?"

"Hux is many things, but he's not sloppy. He believes in technology and that requires precision. He probably calculated all of this months ago. The coordinates are correct." As if the universe wanted to prove him right, the star destroyer _Cataclysm_ appeared instantaneously in front of them.

"See," Ben turned to Rey with a smirk on his face. She smirked back at him and rolled her eyes. And with that, Rey landed the ship to establish an air-tight seal between the hull and the escape hatch of the Falcon. When Ben heard the seal pop, he grabbed the laser-cutter and starting carving an entrance into the star destroyer's hull.

* * *

 

Finn and a small force of Resistance fighters waited for the _Schism_ to appear where Kylo Ren's stolen plans said it would. They were dressed as stormtroopers and were flying a stolen First Order shuttle. It had been awhile since Finn had put on the white armor he'd worn almost daily for as long as he could remember. It had once felt natural, but now it felt like the uniform didn't fit him anymore. He'd be glad to shed it once the mission was over.

The _Schism_ jumped into the starfield several hundred miles in front of them, close enough to see but far enough away that they wouldn't be picked up on its sensors. That meant Poe had started the attack on the faux Death Star and the First Order's fleet had jumped to spread itself across the galaxy. Now they had to wait for Rey and Kylo Ren to shut down the star destroyer's shields and they'd be free to board the ship.

It was hard to stand around when he knew his friends were risking their lives. The only thing harder than waiting for the star destroyer's shields to go down was worrying that they might not go down at all.

* * *

 

Rey and Ben managed to sneak through the ship using Ben's knowledge of the stealthiest path and the use of a few distracting sounds made with the Force and one mind trick that convinced a guard to leave his post. Finally, they were in front of the blast doors that led directly to Snoke's old throne room. With the press of a button, the doors hissed open to reveal the throne room—

—and four of the Knights of Ren.

Rey had seen them once in a vision when she'd touched Luke's lightsaber at Maz Kanata's. Although she hadn't spoken to Ben about them, she could sense his surprise at seeing them again. She could feel that they were dark side users, though not full Jedi. She tried to connect with Ben's mind to find out more, but all she could tell was he'd had a falling out with them a few years ago. They were holding laser weapons similar to what the praetorian guard had used.

"Kylo Ren," said the one holding a laser axe with a long handle. "We've been waiting days for you to show up. I bet you never thought you'd see us again, not after what you did."

Ben snapped out his lightsaber and ignited it. A brilliant white blade sprung to life, steady and stable. Rey ignited her double-bladed lightsaber as well.

"If you're willing to work for a snareweasel like Hux, I was right to leave you to rot," Ben replied. Hux really had planned for every contingency. He must have known about the master control panel but couldn't access it or else he wouldn't have tasked the Knights of Ren to guard it. But the only reason he would have recruited Ben's former knights to guard the panel was if he thought Ben might make it off that backwater planet after all.

"I think I'll kill your girlfriend first," the leader replied as he stepped forward. Rey could feel the anger flare in Ben as he released a battle cry and charged on the group. Rey let out her own cry and followed him into the fray.

* * *

 

Rose Tico had just landed inside the faux Death Star. Four X-wings had escorted her through a narrow secret entrance that had been detailed in Kylo Ren's stolen plans. Although the shell of the base was complete, inside there was only scaffolding stretching across two axises, intersecting in the middle were there was an enclosed landing bay housing the ariant-12 device.

Rose ran towards device which looked like a sub-light engine, just as Kylo Ren had said. Unlike what Kylo Ren had said, the device was in a locked transparisteel case. That hadn't been in the plans.

Rose examined the lock and was relieved to see it wasn't one of the high-tech devices used by some smugglers. The First Order had been cheap and used a fairly standard electronic deadbolt, but it was still blaster resistant. Rose guessed the lock had been used to make sure the case didn't open during transport and infect the courier with the radioactive isotope that would mark them for life. It wasn't meant as a theft deterrent to keep people out.

After examining the lock for a few moments, she realized she could trigger it open if she shorted out a connection between two metal plates. But what could she use to do that? None of the tools she brought would work. She looked around the bay for something, but it was barren, meant only to hold the device she was standing in front of.

Rose looked down at where she was clutching the necklace her sister had given her. Paige had died last year and the necklace was all Rose had to remember her by. It was made of metal and just the right size to short out the connection, but it would be irrevocably damaged if she used it. She hesitated for a moment and then thought about what Paige would want her to do.

"I love you, sis," Rose said as she snapped the necklace off and then dangled it into the mechanism. Sparks of electricity flew from the lock as it opened. Rose grabbed her tools and got to work.

* * *

 

Ben had suspected the knights might have survived his last encounter with them, but it was a large galaxy and he hadn't heard from them since. He assumed they would come for him eventually, but not here of all places. Worse, they were intimately familiar with his fighting style and knew what his weak points were. Ben was taking on two of them while the other two attacked Rey. One of them was wielding a high-powered blaster, taking shots that Rey and Ben had to deflect while fighting the others. Rey seemed to be holding her own in the fight better than Ben and was the first one to make a kill.

That's when realization hit him. The knights weren't familiar with Rey's style of fighting. He could draw on that to throw them off balance and gain an advantage. Ben had an aggressive style that included swift, strong blows that depended on physical strength and an offensive stance since he was typically the aggressor. Rey's style was more fluid and because she was small she tended to use her opponent's body weight against them. She had rarely started fights on Jakku, though she'd always ended them, so her style was more defensive. By adopting her skills, Ben was able to confuse the knights enough that he killed one and was starting to get the better of another one.

A large blast exploded from the wall behind him. The knight wielding the laser gun had fired a shot, just missing the master control panel. Rey swung her lightsaber through his body and ended his life. Ben was so distracted by the noise and sparks that he didn't see the large steel beam falling towards him until it knocked him over and trapped him beneath it.

Ben tried to use the Force to push the beam off of him, but when he looked up, the knight he had been fighting was only two steps away, about to strike him down with his blade. Before Ben could move, Rey flew in out of nowhere and began hacking at her opponent violently, swinging the blade wildly.

"Leave. Him. Alone!" she yelled on each downstroke as her lightsaber finally cut the knight in half, the final opponent vanquished. Rey stood there staring at the body, panting heavily. Ben could feel the strength of the dark side flowing through her. He managed to get the steel beam off of him and touched Rey's arm, causing her to break out of her dark reverie.

"Come back," Ben said softly. Rey blinked at him in a daze, but then he felt the darkness fade out of her and her eyes refocused.

"The control panel's this way," Ben said and led the way.

"Ben, wait!" Rey called to him. "What's that noise?" Ben stopped and listened. He heard a faint whistling sound and looked for its source.

"Oh no," Ben groaned as he looked the throne room wall. The knight who had wielded the high-powered laser gun had blasted a small hole in the wall that was part of the hull. Air was slowly escaping into the void of space. "The safety shields should have kicked in to seal that," Ben said.

"Look," Rey pointed at the wall near the master control panel that had exploded during the fight. There were dozens of burnt and severed wires inside. "He must have destroyed the wires that link the exterior sensors to the safety shield," Rey concluded. She wasn't sure if he'd done that on purpose or if it had been an accident. "We'll have to patch the wall ourselves." The whistling sound had become even louder and Ben could see that although the hole was still small, it had doubled in size during the time they'd been talking.

"There's a supply closet halfway down the hall," Ben pointed to the doorway. "I'll start shutting down the fleet," he said as he entered his password. Rey nodded and ran down the hallway. When she heard the blast doors hiss closed behind her, she realized she'd made a terrible mistake.

Ben had locked himself inside the throne room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in March 2018 and as of that moment all we seem to know about the Knights of Ren are 1) They exist. 2) Kylo Ren was their master, and 3) They look cool in the rain. There's some speculation that they're dark side users, maybe, perhaps? I decided to run with that. Since I don't know anything about them, the best way to handle that scene was to view it through Rey's perspective since she doesn't know anything about them either. Then I added some lines suggesting Ben had left them for dead a few years ago to explain why we hadn't seen them before. Hopefully that works!
> 
> Look, Ben finally has a nice, stable, white lightsaber!
> 
> I liked the idea of Ben having to pull Rey back from the dark side, showing that the balance works both ways.


	13. Chapter 13

Poe and the Resistance were putting up a good fight at the faux Death Star, but he could tell the First Order was taking it easy on them, trying not to destroy many ships since their true objective was to track them down later. They only had a few star destroyers defending the base and the TIE fighters pursuing the X-Wings seemed to be "missing" shots more often than they should. They were trying to make it look like they were losing so they could retreat by jumping away without too much suspicion before remotely activating the ariant-12 device. Poe wasn't sure how much longer they had until that happened. He prayed that Rose had gotten to the device and that Kylo Ren and Rey would be able to deactivate the fleet soon.

* * *

 

Rose used all her strength to snap one last part off of the ariant-12 device and that was it. The First Order's weapon had been defused. Rose carefully placed the metal core containing the radioactive isotope into a case she'd brought with her. It wouldn't make sense to leave the ariant-12 here when it might be used against them in the future. She ran back to her ship and flew towards the Death Star's exit with the X-wing squadron escorting her.

* * *

 

Ben knew there was no way to patch the hull before all the oxygen got sucked out of the throne room. They had two minutes at most. Rey's optimism made it easy to mislead her into believing the solution to their problems was just down the hallway in a closet. He felt guilty about taking advantage of her good nature, but he knew it was the only way to save her. She would never have let him remain here alone if she knew that's what he'd intended.

Ben had to stay at the panel physically to pass the DNA verifications, so he couldn't operate the panel with the Force remotely. The blast door would have closed automatically in a few moments anyway when it detected the loss of pressure in the throne room. If he kept it open while he worked, the next set of doors down the hall would have automatically closed too, and so on. The only way to keep a clear path back the Falcon would be to leave all the blast doors open, but if he did that the air leak would cause damage so catastrophic to the star destroyer that they'd never get back to the Falcon in time.

The door had to remain closed, but he knew that by the time he was done executing the commands into the control panel the pressure difference between the throne room and the rest of the ship would be so strong that if he opened the blast doors he would be pushed back with an explosive force that would break open what was left of the wall, throwing him into space.

He hadn't thought for an instant of trying to save himself. The fleet had to be deactivated so the Resistance could gain the upper hand in the battle and Rey would be with him. If he didn't do that there would be no place in the galaxy for them, and if he couldn't be with Rey he didn't have much interest in being part of the galaxy. At least he could give her what she wanted in his dying act.

He was starting to feel light-headed when he finished entering the commands into the control panel. The room was getting colder and the air felt thin. Rey was banging on the blast doors and tugging on their Force bond which he'd kept closed while he worked, but now selfishly opened again. It was cruel to make her watch him die, but he didn't want to die alone.

"Ben, I love you! Open the door!" Rey yelled. She appeared a foot in front of him through the bond, tears streaming down her face.

He slid to the floor, feeling weak, and looked into her sad eyes. "I love you," he said. If those were his last words he was proud of them.

Rey took a deep breath to calm herself and reached out her right hand to him. "Take my hand," she said. Ben looked at her puzzled, not understanding what she was doing. She said it again, making it clear it was a command, not a request. "Take. My. Hand." He looked into her eyes and suddenly realized what she intended. Was it possible?

Ben reached for Rey's hand through the Force bond and clasped it firmly. He could feel her flesh as if she were really standing in front of him. Then she pulled him with all her strength in the Force as he tried to propel himself towards her. It was like swimming through quicksand. He could feel himself creeping towards her as the air in the room got thinner and the temperature started to drop. The room started to get blurry and wavy like he was looking at it from the bottom of a lake and then he fell forward with such force that he knocked Rey to the ground.

He was in the hallway outside the blast doors. She had pulled him through the Force to the other side.

Ben looked down at Rey in amazement. There had been a time when they'd talked through the Force bond and he'd felt a drop of rain from the planet she was on. He hadn't thought something as large as a person could slip through, but here he was.

Rey slapped Ben hard in the face. "Don't do that!" she yelled before she kissed him. Then they got up and headed for the Falcon. It was easy to slip through the chaos that was breaking out now that most of the ship's non-vital systems had been shut down.

Then he felt him. Hux was aboard this ship. He'd been so focused on the mission that he'd missed it before. Ben stopped and looked down an adjacent hallway that contained a turbolift that led directly to the bridge. The man who had killed his mother and tried to kill him twice was down that path. It would be so easy to kill him in the confusion. He doubted Hux had planned for this contingency.

"Ben?" Rey stopped and looked at him questioningly. He stood there for a few seconds, deliberating. Then he turned back to Rey, his decision made. They ran back to the Falcon and flew away. There were more important things in the galaxy than revenge.

* * *

 

When the _Schism's_ systems went down, Finn sprang into action. His task force flew their shuttle towards the star destroyer and landed in the main flight bay. There was rampant confusion on the ship and no one paid particular attention to the shuttle that had just landed or thought to question where it had come from.

Finn and his fighters headed towards the communications hub for the ship and took out the guards manning the station. Finn took off his helmet and stood in front of the camera that would broadcast his voice and image to every ship in the fleet. He took a deep breath and nodded for them to flip the switch on.

"My name is Finn, but you may know me better by the name the First Order gave me, FN-2187. I was once a stormtrooper like you, but I didn't choose that life, it was chosen for me by the First Order. They tried to convince me that there was no way out, that there wasn't anything more to life than what they gave me." The adrenaline running through his body made Finn's hands tremble slightly. He hoped no one on the holonet noticed.

"They lied. I did make it out. I decided what I wanted to fight for and it wasn't a government that treats its workers like they're disposable. They give us serial numbers instead of names and they make us wear armor so we all look alike because they don't want us to think of each other as sentient beings but as cogs in the machine. I'm here to tell you that you're not part of a machine. You're the life's blood of the First Order! They would be nothing without you! But they starve you and overwork you and when you can't serve them anymore they toss you in an anonymous grave." Finn could feel the sweat rolling down his face as his voice became more impassioned.

"If you want freedom, you have to take it for yourself. No one can give it to you! All the ships in the fleet have been disabled by the Resistance. If you've ever imagined your life could be different, now is the time to seize that life for yourself. There will never be another moment like this! Remember FN-2187! Left Hand of the Resistance, now is the time to rise up!"

Finn could hear a cheer ring out from the flight bay not far from the communications hub where he was standing. The person working the controls terminated the video feed and then set it to repeat on a loop. The sounds of blaster fire started to ring out as the Left Hand members aboard the ship rose up just as Finn had asked them too.

"Let's go," he said. For the first time in the war the Left Hand knew what the Right Hand was doing, and Finn knew that two hands were better than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to go through three scenarios before I thought up a reasonable solution for why Ben would lock himself in a fatal situation. Hopefully the explanation I gave makes sense and doesn't have any holes in it, other than the hole in the wall :)
> 
> It's my understanding that the reason stormtroopers wear head-to-toe armor in the movies is to dehumanize them so the audience doesn't feel bad when the heroes kill them. I thought it would be interesting if the First Order did this for the same reason because dehumanizing their troops made them easier to control.


	14. Chapter 14

The First Order was no more. What would fill its place was yet to be determined.

Finn's speech had motivated 12% of the ships in the fleet to successfully mutiny. Members of the Left Hand of the Resistance had torn the white armor off their left arms to differentiate them from the First Order hardliners they fought against to take control of their ships. There had been many casualties, but once the ships were under the control of the Left Hand, they had quickly spread out to take over the remaining ships in the fleet. The stormtroopers who wouldn't renounce loyalty to the First Order were being held captive on a few vessels, and there was talk of setting up a prison planet for them to live the rest of their lives on.

However, it wasn't a perfect victory. As Finn had predicted, at least two ships had decided to become raiders. The master control panel on the _Catclysm_ had been damaged beyond repair due to its exposure to the vacuum of space, so the Resistance couldn't shut down the rogue ships again like they'd planned. One of them was holding an entire planet hostage in the Outer Rim, and the Resistance was trying to determine the best plan of attack to free the planet.

In addition to that, smugglers stumbled across one of the disabled ships and spaced most of the crew by blowing a hole in the hull. They had advertised it on the black holonet as "slightly used" and were auctioning it to the highest bidder. Several unsavory characters had already made bids.

There were seven star destroyers that had not mutinied and had been able to turn their systems back on before the Resistance got to them. Their location was currently unknown, but they were vastly outnumbered, so they weren't much of a threat. The Resistance hoped to locate and destroy them soon.

The Left Hand of the Resistance was being quite firm about what they demanded of the new government. They were insisting on a 40% voting block in the Senate and wanted mandatory two-year military service for any citizens of planets that became part of the republic. They had been treated like an underclass for too long and wanted people to understand what it was like to serve their galaxy. It was clear that whatever government emerged wasn't going to be like the New Republic but wouldn't be the First Order either. It would be something new.

Despite these challenges, Operation Requiem had been a huge victory--for the Resistance. Most of the high-ranking First Order members had been captured, including Admiral Hux, who was awaiting trial for war crimes. The balance of power in the galaxy had shifted overwhelmingly in their favor. There were still years of work ahead of them to build a new government, but the future looked hopeful again. Rey could feel it in the Force.

Two weeks after the attack, Rey found Finn standing on the landing strip outside the Resistance base. He was talking to some former stormtroopers who were helping with the logistics of moving a battalion into position to free the planet that had been taken over by raiders. When Finn's conversation ended, he noticed Rey and walked over to greet her.

"How's it going?" Rey inquired about the troops.

"It's going. Not as fast as I'd like, but it's going." Finn replied. "I've had to go to more meetings in the last two weeks than I thought I'd have attend in my entire life. And half the time we don't get anything done. There's just talk, talk, talk, and no action." Finn had been unofficially appointed the liaison between the stormtroopers and the Resistance, and despite his complaints she could see he was more energized and excited about the job than she'd seen him about anything.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Finn. The stormtroopers look up to you. You're going to make a big difference."

Finn smiled. "I hope so. Some of the troopers want out completely, but probably 80% of them want to use their skills productively. There are plenty of them who specialized in building roads or constructing bases that could be retasked to help people on planets that were harmed by the First Order. We're talking about setting up retraining programs for some of them, so they can contribute to the government in the way they want to and not the way they were forced to."

"You'll do brilliantly," Rey said, and she meant it.

"I guess you're out of here then?" Finn said, sadness apparent in his voice.

"I'm not dying, Finn, and I'm not abandoning the galaxy." Ben had mentioned there were a few loose ends with the First Order that he wanted to tie up, mostly secret initiatives that might become problems farther down the line. After that, they intended to follow the will of the Force to take them where they were needed most. "I'll be finding ways to help the galaxy, just not as an official Resistance member. Speaking of which, are we still going to call it that?" Rey asked.

"They're trying to pick a new name. I proposed calling it the New New Republic, but I don't think they understood that I was joking. My sense of humor isn't always appreciated."

Rey laughed. "You can always call me if you need me. I don't intend to be a stranger."

"I take it Kylo Ren is going to be helping you help the galaxy?" Finn asked her.

"Kylo Ren was assassinated weeks ago by cowardly rebel traitors. You know that, Finn." The galaxy thought Kylo Ren was dead and that was fine with her. Kylo Ren _was_ dead.

"What about Ben Solo?" Finn asked. "Is he still breathing?" Rey smiled at him but didn't say a word. "I'm not going to pretend I understand it, but I want you to be happy. You deserve to be happy," he said.

"I am happy. Happier than I've ever been."

"What I want to know is how you think one of the most famous men in the galaxy is going to run around without being recognized, particularly since he has a distinctive scar on his face?" Finn asked.

"Neither one of us recognized Han Solo when we met him, and I spent most of my life thinking Luke Skywalker was a myth. There are plenty of places in the galaxy where no one is going to recognize the man who was called Kylo Ren."

"If you say so," Finn said with doubt. "You might ask him to grow a beard or get his hair cut. Just make sure it's not so short that we can see his big ears."

"Finn!" Rey exclaimed and hit him lightly in the shoulder. Rey liked Ben's ears, particularly after she'd discovered how sensitive they were a few nights before.

Finn's face turned serious. "Don't tell him I said that." Rey laughed and promised she wouldn't. They embraced in a long hug.

"Just watch your back, all right?" Finn warned her.

"He'll watch my back and I'll watch his." Rey replied.

* * *

 

Rey stepped aboard the Millennium Falcon and it was home.

Rey and Ben had told Chewbacca he should take the ship. He'd growled back that he'd decided to retire and go back to Kashyyyk to spend more time with his wife and son. It had been Han's ship and Chewie insisted that it stay in the family.

"You are family," Ben had replied. Chewbacca had hugged him and told him his father would be proud of him. He also said Han would have told him not to screw things up with Rey because she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. Ben had agreed and had wished the Wookie a warm good-bye.

Rey walked into the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon where Ben was running the pre-flight checklist. He had said he wanted to be her co-pilot and now he was, but she knew they still faced many challenges. Ben was warming to the idea that grey Jedi were possible and that he could find an inner balance between his two halves that wouldn't tear him apart, but he still had trauma to deal with, and he had a galaxy full of regrets resting on his shoulders. Sometimes she wondered though, would the Resistance have been able to defeat the First Order so soundly if he hadn't risen to the top of its ranks and learned all their secrets? Maybe that had been part of the Force's plan all along.

"Did you say your good-byes?" Ben asked. Rey nodded. She'd found Poe and Rose before she'd talked to Finn and let them know she was leaving. Poe lobbied hard for her to stay, but she'd firmly told him no and that the Force was coaxing the Light of Resistance to shine that light elsewhere.

"I guess we'll call you the Light of the Galaxy now," Poe had said.

"You can just call me Rey," she'd replied.

Rey and Ben took off from the Resistance base and flew into outer space. Leia had said home was the people you loved who loved you back. Rey had wanted a family that was loyal to each other before anything else. She had found both with Ben, as he had with her.

Ben turned to admire the woman sitting the pilot's seat next to him. It had been only a few weeks ago that he'd felt so lost he'd considered taking his own life. Instead he'd taken his life into his own hands and carved out a place in the galaxy for them with Rey's help. Together they could do things they could never do alone, and he was looking forward to learning all the ways in which that was true.

Ben entered the coordinates for their jump into the hyperdrive computer. "Ready?" he asked Rey.

Rey smiled back at him. "Ready," she replied.

They gripped the hyperdrive handle together and pulled it towards them, towards the place in the galaxy they'd always craved, their place together.

The stars had never looked so bright.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was important to show that not all of the galaxy's problems had been solved, and that the First Order's defeat had caused a new set of problems. That will leave our heroes busy for a while, no doubt. Spin-off potential!
> 
> If Adam Driver ever somehow gets a hold of this, please let him know I love his ears and he's beautiful just the way he is.
> 
> I wish Rey could have said, "You can just call me Rey Solo," but I don't think our dear couple is ready to get married. When they do, I know Rey will love telling people her name is Rey Solo. Heck, she'll probably enjoy having a last name at all :) 
> 
> I figure Ben has access to a secret First Order bank account which will cover their bills since they don't have paying jobs anymore. Actually, do rebels get paid at all?
> 
> If I were really writing the story for Episode 9, I'd flesh this manuscript out in a few areas. There might be a brief space battle after the factory blows up and the Resistance flees the planet at the beginning. I'd find something for Finn, Poe, and Rose to do during the first half, probably a mission that has them encounter the Left Hand of the Resistance. Finn would see "2187" graffiti somewhere and meet someone in the Left Hand to better establish the problems developing in the stormtrooper corps and the potential for the Resistance to exploit that. Poe would need to deal with the new responsibilities of leadership and make a hard decision somewhere. I'd also flesh out the part where Rey meets the slicer, perhaps with a chase scene or something action-oriented. And I'd intercut a few more scenes with Hux as he plots and executes his big plan. The battle at the faux Death Star would be more extensive, but I have no idea how to write a space battle and have no desire to learn how, so I kept that section brief. However, I'm most interested in Reylo, so I didn't bother with any of that. And I intentionally kept the pace rather snappy, so there's a lot of room to add more vivid descriptions to what I did write.
> 
> I mostly write non-fiction, so it was interesting figuring out the toolbox of skills needed to write fiction. I didn't realize how important synonyms for the word "said" would be. This was the first fanfiction I've written even though I've read them since before some of you were probably born. I dunno if I'll dabble in any more, but I had a blast writing this. I somehow cranked it out in a week and skipped out on work two days to do it, which was completely irresponsible of me but also immensely satisfying!
> 
> That's it! Cue the closing theme music. Thanks for reading! Your comments, kudos, and bookmarks have been so much fun to receive!


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